Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #527

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Waldo Man, Fed Up With Giant Sinkhole, Decides ToThrow‘Pool’ Party
by: Heidi Schmidt
KANSAS CITY, Mo. — A Waldo man was so fed up with a mas- sive sinkhole that opened up in his neighborhood that he decided to throw a “pool” party, complete with a swim trunks and a cool drink.
Bradley Walsh snapped a pic- ture of a new neighborhood “pool” near West 74th Street and Pennsylvania Avenue and posted it in a Waldo neighbor- hood Facebook
page.
The picture shows yellow caution tape sur- rounding a severely dam- aged street. The broken pavement is submerged in standing water.
Walsh tells FOX4 he was trying to poke fun at an unfortunate situa- tion.
“I got my Adirondack chair and just kinda put it up there and grabbed a Leinenkugel’s shandy and just relaxed in my
bathing suit for a few minutes and tried to get some neighbors to join me, but nobody wanted to come to the party.”
FOX4 has reached out to the city about the sinkhole. They say a six-inch water main broke on Tuesday, leaving about 15 people without water and forcing them to close Pennsylvania between 74th and 75th. They didn’t say how long repairs will take.
I went for an interview at a big IT company today for the position of Computer Hacking Investigator.
The boss asked me, "So, what makes you suit- able for this job?"
"Well," I replied, "I hacked into your computer and invited myself to this interview!"
Farmers Brown & Jones had adjoin- ing farms for years and didn't get along at all.
One night after supper, Farmer Brown knocked on Farmer Jones's door. When Farmer Jones answered the door, Farmer Brown said, "I know we don't talk often, but I wanted you to know that our mule just died today."
Farmer Jones replied, "I'm cer- tainly sorry to hear that, but I am wondering why you came over here to tell me?"
"Because," Farmer Brown said, "you're always supposed to notify the next of kin."
A woman drove a mini-van filled with a dozen screaming kids through the mall parking lot, look- ing for a space.
Obviously fraz- zled, she coasted through a stop sign.
"Hey, lady, have you forgotten how to stop?" yelled an irate man.
She rolled down her window and yelled back, "What makes you think these are all mine?"
A farmer lived on a quiet, rural high- way. As time went by, the traffic slowly built up at an alarming rate. It became so heavy and so fast that his chickens were being run over at a rate of three to six chick- ens a day. A call to the sheriff resulted in signs being put up near the farmer's land
that said "Slow: School Crossing." Chickens were still being run over. The sheriff had the signs changed to say "Slow: Children at Play." Again no change.
"Look, your signs are just not work- ing. Mind if I put uponeofmy own?" asked the farmer. The Sheriff agreed. Three weeks later, the Sheriff decided to see if the new sign was working because he had not received anymore complaints. Upon close inspection, the sheriff saw the new sign that was making a dif- ference. Written on a whole sheet of plywood were the words... "Slow: Nudist Colony."
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classi- fieds: "Wife want- ed."
Next day he received a hun- dred letters.
They all said the same thing... "You can have mine!"
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine