Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #516

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Another honest politician.
A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were.
“We have basic needs sir,” replied the villager.
“Firstly, we have a hospital, but there’s no doc- tors.”
On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speak- ing for a while he reassured the vil- lage leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
Secondly sir, there is no cell- phone coverage anywhere in this village.”
A Sunday School teacher was try- ing to explain about saying grace before meals.
One of the pupils was the young son of the minis- ter of that church,
so she started the discussion by asking him, "Jerry, what does you father say when the family sits down to din- ner?"
Jerry answered, "Dad says 'Go easy on the but- ter, kids - it's three bucks a pound!'"
The lawyer hope you get in trouble,
The doctor hopes you get sick,
The police hopes you become crim- inal,
The teacher hopes you are born silly,
The landlord hopes you do not build a house,
The prostitute hopes you do not get married,
The dentist hopes that your teeth decay,
The mechanic hopes your car breaks down,
The coffin maker wants you dead,
Only the thief wishes you pros- perity in life!
A kindhearted judge was com- miserating with the wife. "Your husband really has a problem. Has he ever tried Alcoholics Anonymous?"
"I'm sure he has," she nodded sadly. "That man will drink anything."
A minister was planning a wed- ding at the close of the Sunday morning service.
After the benedic- tion, he had planned to call the couple down for a brief cere- mony in front of the congregation.
For the life of him, he couldn't think of the names of those who were to be married.
"Will those want- ing to get married please come to the front?" he requested.
Immediately, nine single ladies, three widows, four widowers, and six single men stepped to the front.
Coast Guard Rescues Trio FromDeserted Island Where They Lived On Rats, Coconuts
by: WFLA, Nexst ar Media Wire
TAMPA, Fla. (WFLA) — Three Cuban nationals were rescued Tuesday after surviving more than 30 days on a deserted island in the Bahamas.
A U.S. Coast Guard crews operating from Miami spotted the trio waving a large makeshift flag during a rou- tine air patrol around Anguilla Cay on Monday.
Weather delayed the rescue by about a day. The crew dropped the
group food, water and a radio, and a U.S. Coast Guard Clearwater heli- copter was deployed to the scene to hoist the group to safety.
The Coast Guard said on
Twitter that the group included two men and a woman.
On Tuesday, the trio was airlifted off the island and taken to the Lower Keys Medical Center in Key West, Florida. No injuries were reported.
According to the Coast Guard, the group had been stranded on the island for 33 days. Local 10 reports they had struggled to find fresh water and had been living on conch shells, rats and coconuts.
“That is pretty extraordinary. It was incredible,” Lt. Justin Dougherty with the Coast Guard told the news station. “I don’t know how they didit.Iam amazed that they were in such good shape.”
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine