Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #490

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
It was the kinder- garten teachers birthday and the students decided that they would each buy their teacher a gift.
The first student, whose parents own a florist shop, gave her a pres- ent.
She held it and said, "I guess that it is flowers". "How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She laughed and thanked him.
The second stu- dent, whose par- ents own a candy store, gave her a present.
She held it and said, "I guess that is some candy." "How did you guess?" asked the little boy. She again laughed and thanked him also.
The third student, whose parents own a bottle shop, gave her a box which was leaking.
The teacher touched the liquid with her finger and tasted it. "Mmm... is it wine?" she asked.
"No," said the little girl.
So she tasted it again. "Is it cham- pagne?" she asked.
"Noooo," replied the little girl, "It's a puppy."
Three ladies were discussing the travails of getting older.
One said, "Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayon- naise in my hand, while standing in front of the refrig- erator, and I can't remember whether I need to put it away, or start making a sandwich."
The second lady chimed in with, "Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can't remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down."
The third one responded, "Well, ladies, I'm glad I don't have that problem.
Knock on wood," as she rapped her knuckles on the table, and then said, "Oh. That must be some- body at the door, I'll get it!"
I wondered if I could get my hus- band to help me address Christmas cards, as I had so much to do.
I arranged every- thing we needed, then hopefully pulled up a chair and said, "Come on, Dear, let's get these out of the way."
He glanced at the array on the table, turned away and went into the den, only to return moments later with a high stack of cards, stamped, sealed, and addressed.
"They're last year's," he said. "I forgot to mail them. Now let's go out to dinner and relax."
The foreman on a construction job site started yelling at one of the men,
“I've had slow men on jobs before but you are the slowest I've ever seen. Is there anything you are quick with?"
"Well," yawned the workman, "nobody can get tired as quick as I can."
Marriage- Proposal Fireworks Cause Panic, Theater Evacuation
HOWELL, N.J. (AP) — A man who set off fire- works near a movie theater as his friend made a marriage pro- posal created panic among moviegoers who mistook the fire- works for gun- shots, leading to 911 calls and an evacuation, authorities said.
Howell Township police respond- ed to the Xscape Theater around 6 p.m. Wednesday and soon learned the theater manager
had confronted a man who had lighted fireworks outside another business near the theater, authorities said.
The remnants of the fireworks were located, and it was deter- mined that no shots had been fired.
A 23-year-old Lakewood man told police he had set off the fireworks as part of his friend’s marriage pro- posal at the other business.
While noting there was no intent to cause panic at the the- ater, a post on the Howell police Facebook page stated that “obviously this was a very poor decision rather than an overt act.”
The Lakewood man was charged with a fireworks infrac- tion and disor- derly conduct.
No injuries were reported.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine