Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #471

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Tax season - due on April 15
A man wrote a letter to the IRS:
"I have been unable to sleep knowing that I have cheated on my income tax.
I understated my taxable income and have enclosed a check for $200.00.
If I still can't sleep, I will send the rest."
An elderly lady was well-known for her faith and for her boldness in talking about it. She would stand on her front porch and shout "PRAISE THE LORD!"
Next door to her lived an atheist who would get so angry at her proclamations he would shout, "There ain't no Lord!!"
Hard times set in on the elderly lady, and she prayed for GOD to send her some assistance. She stood on her porch and shout- ed "PRAISE THE LORD. GOD I NEED FOOD!! I AM HAVING A HARD TIME.
PLEASE LORD, SEND ME SOME GROCERIES!!"
The next morning the lady went out on her porch and noted a large bag of groceries and shouted, "PRAISE THE LORD."
The neighbor jumped from behind a bush and said, "Aha! I told you there was no Lord. I bought those gro- ceries, God did- n't."
The lady started jumping up and down and clap- ping her hands and said, "PRAISE THE LORD. He not only sent me gro- ceries, but He made the devil pay for them. Praise the Lord!"
A student at a management school came up to a pretty girl and hugged her with- out any warning.
The surprised girl said, “What was that?”
The guy smiled at her, “Direct mar- keting!”
The girl slapped him soundly.
“What was that?!”
said the boy, holding his cheek.
“Customer feed- back.”
How do you know you have a great CPA?
Hehasatax loophole named after him.
What is the defini- tion of an accountant?
Someone who solves a problem you did not know youhadinaway you don’t under- stand.
Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag.
That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your bank account after paying taxes.
That's a red flag
The guy who said that the truth never hurts never had to fill out a form 1040
Children may be deductible, but they are still taxing
Woman Gives Birth To Twin Babies With Different Fathers
A woman's infi- delity surfaced after she gave birth to twin boys with differ- ent fathers in an extremely rare occur- rence, experts said.
The mother admitted to cheating on her husband after DNA results confirmed one of the twin boys had a different father.
According to experts, the
exact odds of the phenome- non, called het- eropaternal superfecunda- tion, are difficult to calculate. However, previ- ous studies have shown the chance could be between one in 400 pairs and one in 13,000 pairs, Metro.co. uk quoted The Guardian.
In this case, the husband, known only as Xiaolong, was already suspi-
cious as one of the boys did not look like him. Later, the cou- ple, from south- eastern Xiamen city, China, was required to pro- duce results of paternity test in order to register the birth of their twins. They underwent DNA tests which revealed one of the babies had different biologi- cal father, reported Strait Herald.
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