Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #536

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A man goes to the doctor with a swollen foot. After a careful exami- nation, the doctor gives the man a pill big enough to choke a horse.
"I'll be right back with some water," the doctor tells him.
The doctor has been gone a while and the man loses patience. He hob- bles out to the drinking fountain, forces the pill down his throat and gobbles down water until the pill clears his throat. He hob- bles back into the examining room.
Just then the doc- tor comes back with a bucket of warm water, "Okay, after the tablet dissolves, soak that foot for about 20 min- utes."
A father was wait- ing nearby while his young son prayed silently before going to bed. Suddenly the boy burst out laughing.
"Reggie!" scolded his father, "Why are you laughing
during prayer?"
"But Dad," the boy answered, "you told me that prayer is talking toGodastoa friend, and I just told him a joke."
Mr. Jacobson decided to take a week off from the pressures of the office and went skiing. Alas, no sooner did he reach the slopes than he heard an ominous rum- bling. Moments later a sheet of snow came crashing toward him.
Fortunately, Mr. Jacobson was able to jump into a cave just before the avalanche hit. Just as fortunate- ly, he had match- es with him and was able to light a fire.
Hours later, when everyone but Mr. Jacobson had returned, a res- cue team was sent to search for him.
After several hours they saw smoke curling from the cave and went to investi- gate.
Poking his head into the entrance, one of the res- cuers yelled, "Mr. Jacobson, are you there? It's the Red Cross."
A young busi- nessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
Sitting there, he saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the busi- nessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working.
He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments. Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."
I went skydiving today for the first time.
This guy strapped himself to me, we jumped out of the plane.
As we plummeted he said, "So how long have you been an instruc- tor?"
232 Skiing Santas Take To The Slopes At Maine Resort
By Ben Hooper
Dec. 9 (UPI) -- A Maine resort said a total 232 peo- ple donned Santa Claus cos- tumes and took to the slopes on skis and snow- boards to raise money for a local nonprofit.
The Sunday River Resort in Newry said the 21st Annual Santa Sunday event featured
232 Santas wearing red hats, red coats and white beards, ringing sleigh bells and taking on the slopes of the resort's Broadway trail.
The event raised more than $5,000 for the River Fund Maine, a non- profit that "aims to create a bright economic future for the communi- ty by investing in
the education of the area's youth and by harness- ing the recre- ational assets of the region," the resort said.
The skiing Santas each made a $20 donation to par- ticipate in the event, and the resort provided day-long lift tick- ets for all partici- pants as well as extra tickets for return visits.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine