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iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eight- ies and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sit- ting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sit- ting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water float- ed, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.
The pastor tried to stifle his curios- ity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful?
I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of dis- ease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!" The pas- tor fainted.
An important and very well publi- cized murder trial was soon to begin. In prepara- tion for the trial, the tiresome jury selection process took place, each side hotly contest- ing and dismiss- ing potential jurors.
One prospective juror, Dan O'Keefe, was called for his question session.
He was asked, "Property holder?"
Dan replied, "Yes, I am, Your Honor."
Then he was asked, "Married or single?"
Dan responded,
"Married for twen- ty years, Your Honor."
Then the judge asked, "Formed or expressed an opinion?"
Dan stated with certainty, "Not in twenty years, Your Honor."
The teacher asked her stu- dents which state they thought has the most cows. A little girl raised her hand and said Texas.
The teacher said, "That is right, you get an 'A'. Now which state do you think has the most sheep?"
A little boy raised his hand and said Montana. The teacher said, "That's right, you get an 'A'. Who can tell me which state has the most turkeys?"
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, that's easy, "Washington D.C.!"
The teacher gave him an A+.
Carpool Lane Driver Found To Be Using Mannequin Passenger
By Ben Hooper
Feb. 26 (UPI) -
- The California Highway Patrol said a driver using the high- occupancy vehi- cle lanes of a highway was found to actually be traveling alone, except for
"one of the best dummies" police had ever seen.
The CHP said an officer
stationed in Baldwin Park pulled over a truck traveling in an HOV lane on Wednesday because the
vehicle's win- dows were tinted too dark for the officer to see if the driver had a passenger.
The officer soon discovered the apparent "man" sitting in the pas- senger seat of the truck was actually a highly realistic man- nequin, complete with a COVID- 19 face mask.
The CHP said the
mannequin was "by far, one of the best dum- mies we have ever seen."
The driver said he had been using the dummy to travel in HOV lanes for over a year before he got caught.
The driver was issued a ticket for an HOV lane violation, which carries a maxi- mum fee of $490.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine