Page 17 - iAV Digital Magazine #394

The only true FREE CLASSIFIEDS in the Antelope Valley... Where buyers and sellers meet!
Wife: I hate that beggar.
Husband: Why?
Wife: That rascal, yester- day I gave him food and today he gave me a Cookbook!
103 passengers and only 40 meals got loaded on a INDIA to US flight.
The Airline had messed up, and the crew was in a fix. However, one smart flight attendant has an idea. About 30 min- utes into the flight she nervously announces, "I don't know how this hap- pened but we have 103 passengers and only 40 dinners.".
When the passengers muttering had died down she continued, "Anyone who is kind enough to give up his/ her meal so that someone else can eat, will receive free unlimited liquor during the entire duration of the flight.".
Her next announcement came an hour and a half later, "if anyone wants to change his/her mind we still have 40 dinners available!".
A Wife checks husbands mobile and find all girls numbers saved in the fol- lowing order:
New Bird Neighbor Bird Old Bird Upstairs Bird Insurance Bird College Bird Super market Bird
Finally she checks her name and it was saved as...
Angry Bird
Son: Daddy, I got pun- ished in school today.
Dad: Why?
Son: My teacher pointed the scale towards me saying, "At the end of this scale there is an idiot.".
I just asked "Which end?".
When wearing a bikini, women reveal 90% of their body.
Men are so polite they only look at the covered parts!
Early one morning, a mother went in to wake up her son.
“Wake up, son.“
“But why, Mom? I don’t want to go.”
“Give me two reasons
why you don’t want to go.”
“Well, the kids hate me for one, and the teachers hate me also!”
“Oh, that’s no reason not to go to school. Come on now and get ready.”
“Give me two reasons why I should go to school.”
“Well, for one, you’re 52 years old. And for anoth- er, you’re the PRINCI- PAL!"
A customer was continu- ally bothering the waiter in a restaurant, at first he’d asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down because he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a sec- ond customer asked him why he didn’t throw out the pest.
“Oh, that man I don’t care.” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t even have an air condi- tioner.”
661-944-7171
L A N D
W. Lancaster: 5 acres. $20,000 • 944-7171
Yucca, Arizona: 2.5acs,
$5,000 • 728-7687 394
Cal City: Flat land ready to build w/ all utilities. Next to a house. In town $15,000 • 944-7171393
California City: Residential lot, all utilities $14,900 • 944-7171
Lake LA: 2.5 acres $29,900 • 661-944-7171
Mojave: 17acres, agriculture on Hwy 58, flat, surveyed (4Lots). Power in front $100,000 • 824-3333
3acres on Hwy 58. R1, flat w/ electric $48,000 • 824- 3333257
For sale: N. Edwards: 2.5 acres commercial land w/ 60’ Mobile Home, 2wells, 3,000sqft commercial bldg $299K • 824-3333
over 200 houses & con- dos in the Antelope Valley. Bargain prices. These are bank owned, short pay, foreclosures. Call us
789-8729393
For Sale: Commercial zoned. 2.5acres w/ mobile home & 3000sqft metal bldg in No. Edwards $100,000 • 824-3333336
S T O R A G E / SPACE
SeCure Mini STorAGe. $1 moves you in. Selected sizes. Call for details 24hrs Security, Private PO Boxes, No Deposit Required. Units 10’-12’ high not 8’ 661-947-5400 37560 Sierra Hwy Palmdale
SPORTinG
GOOdS
Man’s bike 18spd, 26” tires. Maroon & gray, almost new $80 • 818-219-1416394
Free: Boxes full of hunting, fishing & camping equip-
truck shop manual. Great cond $35 • 272-9273 bet 8:30am-8:30pm394
Pair of 13” trailer tires w/ 5 lugs, 6ply, size B-78-13st tubeless. Good tread on tires $70 • 272-9273 bet 8:30am-8:30pm394
7’x2’ Flatbed $500 • 728- 7687394
Trail FX bedliner for full size GM pick up, xlnt cond $50 • 202-8503393
1973 Eldorado 8track, am/fm. Xlnt cond $50 • 943- 6071393
Parting out 1977 Ford F150 pick up, complete. Has not run for over 10yrs. No win- dows • 272-9273 bet 8am-
8:30pm only
391
ment • 945-9613
393
1969 Fisher body service manual, very rare $35. In depth on everything but motor & Trans • 272-9273
bet 8am-8:30pm
390
Repair manual for 1984-94 Ford Tempo & Mercury Topaz. Slightly used, good cond $15 • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm390
Old chrome V6 metal emblem $19, some pitting maybe from an old International Harvester • 272-9273 bet 8:30am- 8:30pm387
Chilton Toyota truck repair manual from 1970-88. Includes wiring & vacuum diagrams. For Land Cruiser & 4Runner, 4wheel drive & diesel engines • 272-9273
8:30pm only
373
HOUSE FOR
RENT
Boron: 5+2, ready now $800 • 818-448-9829395
ROOM FOR RENT
Lancaster: Newer home, near Nat’l Soccer field. $440/mo + 1/3 utilities, refundable dep. Shared bath, kitchen, plenty of park- ing. Background check •
ties • 424-224-8435
396
MOBILE HOME
For sale: 2002 Double wide 3+2, Best park in Lancaster. Newly remodeled kitchen, bath. New marble, plumb- ing. Jacuzzi, 8x12 shed. Space rent $525. $74,900 •
Palmdale: Furnished, $390, pd utilities & internet • 274- 0235398
E. Lancaster: newly painted, very nice room. Kitchen & pool privileges. Central heat
bet 8am-8:30pm only
385
& ac $500 • 206-5815
397
E. Palmdale: $500/mo, with bed • 323-633-9436393
HOUSE FOR SALE
Lake LA: 4+2, built 1988 $165,000 • 400-2494398
CalCity: Built 1995 $99,000
394 • 818-571-0659
Boron: 3 Houses for sale by owner. $49-60k • 818-442- 1135394
over 200 houses & con- dos in the Antelope Valley. Bargain prices. These are bank owned, short pay, foreclosures. Call us today. Ask for Tony Austin 661-722-5255 or Betty at
Mercedes Benz brakelight lens covers for 1970-1980’s. Disconnected, ready to go. One pair $68 • 272-9273
377 bet 8am-8:30pm
Repair manual for Dodge full size pick up trucks 1994-96 $21 for 2WD & 4WD, gas & diesel engines • 272-9273 bet 8am-
377 8:30pm
13” Dexter rim for very old trailer. Good cond $35 • 272-9273 bet 8am-8:30pm376
Repair manual for basic car- buration & fuel sys $35. The how & why for all things car- burator. Includes smog, emissions, fuel pumps & lines • 272-9273 bet
483-4529
E. Lancaster: Close to everything, newly painted, very nice $500+ $100securi- ty. Pool & kitchen privileges, outside smoking • 206-
396
942-0820 Goodyear tire P235/75R15
E. Palmdale: $400, pd utili- ties, no security dep. Proof
Pearblossom: Share house w/ 2 other adults on 1 acre w/ view. $450+deposit, pd utilities. Security gate. Must have income, transportation
& references • 944-7468 E. Lancaster: $375, pd utili-
394
396 $70 • 818-219-1416
Hi-performance tires, 195/60R15, on rim for Honda $70 • 818-219-1416
1982 official Chevy light
of income • 208-5398
398
E. Lancaster: $500/mo, pd utilities. Pool. Can reduced rent to $250 for caregiving
397
396
& cooking • 789-8729
398
today.
Betty at 661-944- 7171
VEHiClES
ACCESSORIES
Free: Small tires & wheels • 256-4904398
Engine stand $30 • 818- 219-1416396
Super ride all season P185/80R13 $35 • 818-219- 1416396
Chrysler engine 440, 4600 miles, orig, $4,000 • 733- 2849395
1964 Chevy truck bed, woodwedge, metal frame •
395 733-2849
9x20 Bias tires $45ea; Tubes $10 • 530-370-9283394
454 Chevy engine, big block w/ hi-rise & holly carburator, stater. Complete engine •
Used helmet for hockey or football w/ full face guard $15 • 272-9273 bet 8:30am-
MoBile hoMe
For SAle!
Double wide. 24x65, Aluminum sidings, 2+2, den. New ref range dish- washer, 2 cooler w/ Aircon in the kitchen. Includes all furnitures, Fixtures, TV, appliances & others MUST SEE! 661-256-0868 serious inquiry !!!
398
5815
16
661-266-4-ADS
ANTELOPE VALLEY FREE CLASSIFIEDS ;