Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #506

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Before celebrating a baptism, the deacon approached the young father and said solemnly, “Baptism is a seri- ous step. Are you sure you’re pre- pared for it?”
“I think so,” the man replied. “My wife has made appetizers and we have a caterer coming to provide plenty of cookies and cakes for our guests.”
“I don’t mean that,” the deacon replied. “I mean, are you prepared spiritually?”
“Oh sure,” came the reply. “I’ve got a keg of beer and a case of whiskey."
A man entered a pet shop, wanting to buy a parrot. The shop owner pointed out three identical parrots on a perch and said, "The parrot to the left costs 500 dollars."
"Why does that parrot cost so much?" the man wondered.
replied, "Well, it knows how to use a computer."
The man asked about the next parrot on the perch.
"That one costs 1,000 dollars because it can do everything the other parrot can do, plus it knows how to use the UNIX operating system."
Naturally, the star- tled customer asked about the third parrot.
"That one costs 2,000 dollars."
"And what does that one do?" the man asked.
The owner replied, "To be honest, I've never seen him do a thing, but the other two call him boss!"
At a local gun show two guys were bragging about their wife's abilities.
"My wife's a fine shot. She can hit a dollar every time."
"That's nothing. My wife goes through my trousers and never misses a dime."
Mother: I think our son is going to be an astronaut.
Father: What makes you think that?
Mother: I spoke to his teacher today. She said he is taking up space.
My boss came to me at lunch, "Where the hell have you been? I've been trying to find you all morn- ing!"
I shrugged and said, "Good employees are hard to find!"
Two guys find three grenades and they decide to take them to the police station.
One asks, "What if one explodes before we get there?"
The other replies, "We'll lie and say we only found two."
The owner
16-year-old Uses Both Hands To Write 40 words In One Minute
By Ben Hooper
Sept. 15 (UPI) - - A 16-year-old girl in India is seeking Guinnes s World
Records recogni- tion for her latest accomplishment: writing 45 words in 1 minute by using both hands at the same time.
Aadi Swaroopa, 16, of Mangalore,
was recognized as a record hold- er by the non- profit school
administration organization
L ATA Foundation of Raibareli, Uttar Pradesh, after showing off her ability to write with both hands at the same time.
Swaroopa man- aged 40 words in 1 minute, besting the Lata Foundation's pre- viously chroni- cled record of 25 words.
The girl's parents said they are
now trying to get her accomplish- ment into the Guinness Book of World Records.
Swaroopa's father said he first noticed his daughter was ambidextrous when she was only 2 years old. He said he believes she can get up to 60 words per minute with enough practice.
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