Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #520

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Alex, a widower, went to a senior citizen's dance.
There he met Ruth, a woman also advanced in years.
Alex and Ruth danced every dance together.
Afterward, they went out for cof- fee.
As they walked home, Ruth said, "You remind me of my fourth hus- band."
Alex said, "Really? How many times have you been mar- ried?"
Ruth said, "Three."
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table.
The wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband, "she's my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking
right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says the wife. "Who would think a per- son could go on celebrating that long?"
Two students were talking about their child- hood.
"I was a very clever toddler. By the time I was ten months old, I could already walk."
"You call that clever?" the other said. "I managed to trick my par- ents into carrying me until I was three!"
A man walked into a hardware store and picked upacanofwasp spray.
"Is this good for wasps?" he asks the assistant.
To which she replies "No, it kills them."
A nice, calm and respectable lady went into the pharmacy, walked up to the
Pharmacist, looked straight into his eyes, and said, "I would
like to buy some Cyanide."
The pharmacist asked, "Why in the world do you need cyanide?" The lady replied, "I need it to poi- son my husband."
The pharmacist's eyes got big and he exclaimed, "Lord have mercy! I can't give you cyanide to kill your husband. That's against the law! I'll lose my license! They'll throw both of us in jail! All kinds of bad things will happen.
Absolutely not! You CANNOT have any cyanide!"
The lady reached into her purse and pulled out a pic- ture of her hus- band in bed with the pharmacist's wife.
The pharmacist looked at the pic- ture and replied, "Well now, that's different. You did- n't tell me you had a prescrip- tion."
World's Highest Infinity Pool Is Nearly 1,000 Feet Off The Ground
By Ben Hooper
April 15 (UPI) -
- A resort sky- scraper in Dubai broke a Guinness World Record for the highest outdoor infinity pool at 964 feet, 2 inch- es above ground level.
Guinness said
the Address Beach Resort, a recently complet- ed skyscraper in Dubai, now is a world record holder after an infinity pool was installed on the 77th-floor rooftop.
The pool has a surface area of more than 6,000
square feet and is about 4 feet deep at its deep- est point.
The building was also awarded a record for the highest occupi- able skybridge floor, which is 965 feet, 8.4 inches over the ground.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine