Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #503

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A woman said to her friend, "I don't know what to do. My husband is such a mess maker that you can't imagine. He doesn't put any- thing in its place, I am always going around the house picking up after him."
The friend says, "Take a tip from me. The first week after we were married I told my husband firmly, 'Every glass and plate that you take, wash it when you are done and put it back in its prop- er place.'"
The woman asked, "Did it help?"
Her friend replied, "I don't know. I haven't seen him since."
Daddy, how was I born ?
The father answers, ‘Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out any- way!
Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo.
Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a
cyber-cafe.
We sneaked into a secluded room and googled each other.
There your moth- er agreed to a download from my hard drive.
AssoonasIwas ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete but- ton, nine months later a little Pop- Up appeared that said: ‘You got Mail!’
A politician visited a village and asked what their needs were.
“We have 2 basic needs sir” replied the villager.
“Firstly, we have a hospital, but there’s no doctor.”
On hearing this, politician whipped out his cellphone, and after speak- ing for a while he assured the vil- lager leader that the doctor would be there the next day. He then asked about the second problem.
“Secondly sir, there is no cell- phone coverage in this village.”
Two young busi- nessmen in Florida were sit- ting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store in the shop- ping mall.
As yet, the store wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves and dis- play racks set up.
One said to the other, “I’ll bet that any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we’re sell- ing.”
Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious senior gentleman walked up to the window, looked around intensely and rapped on the glass, then in a loud voice asked, “What are you sellin’ here?”
One of the men replied sarcasti- cally, “We’re sell- ing ass-holes.”
Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, “You’re doing well. Only two left.”
Seniors: don’t mess with them, they’ve been around a long time.
Long-lost Sisters Reunite More Than 50yrs Later Thanks To COVID-19
By Ben Hooper
July 30 (UPI) -
- A pair of Nebraska sisters who hadn't seen each other in more than 50 years were reunited when one ended up as the other's med- ication aide while she was recover- ing from COVID- 19.
Bev Boro, 53, a medication aide at Dunklau Gardens in Fremont,
said she was looking over her patient list when she quickly rec- ognized the name of Doris Crippen, 73, the sister she had been trying to locate for years.
Crippen had been hospital- ized at Nebraska Medicine for more than a month while recovering from COVID-19 and a broken arm sus- tained in a fall resulting from the illness.
Boro said she used a white board to commu- nicate with Crippen, who is hard of hearing, and they quickly confirmed they shared the same father, Wendall Huffman.
Crippen and Boro, who have different moth- ers, were raised in separate homes, and Boro had ended up in the foster care system when she was less than 6 months old, before even- tually being adopted.
Crippen was the first of Huffman's 10 children with
three different mothers, and Boro was the youngest.
The women said they had been searching for one another for years and knew each other's names, but were never able to find contact infor- mation. Crippen said she now considers her brush with coron- avirus to be "a blessing."
"I am the happi- est person in the world,"
Crippen told the Washington Post. "I cannot believe I finally found my sister."
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