Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #432

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand.
He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript. So the new monk goes to the head abbot to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies.
The head monk, says, ‘We have been copying from the copies for centuries, but you make a good point, my son.’
He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held as archives in a locked vault that hasn’t been opened for hundreds of years.
Hours go by and nobody sees the old abbot. So, the young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.
‘We missed the R! We missed the R! We missed the R!!!’
His forehead is all
bloody and bruised and he is crying uncontrollably. The young monk asks the old abbot, ‘What’s wrong, father?’
With a choking and tear filled voice, the Abbot screams: “The word was... the word was... celebRate!!!”
A wealthy merchant of 84 married a 25 year old fashion model.
They had a wonder- ful honeymoon in Aruba but, unfortu- nately, the old boy suffered a coronary and was hospital- ized.
When his young wife came to see him, the old man said, “Sweetheart, your future has been taken care of regard- less of what hap- pens to me. You will have an income of $250K a year, my home in Palm Springs, my ranch in Texas, my Mercedes. You’ll never need to worry about money.”
"Oh, sweetheart, please don’t talk that way,” his young wife exclaimed. “You’ve been so good to me already. If you go, I’ll be devastated. Oh, there must be some- thing I can do to help you. Please....tell me what I can do?”
“Well,” the old man gasped, “you can quit pinching the inlet tube to my oxy- gen supply for
starters.”
I was trying to decide what to do for a talent show I planned to enter.
Trusting my mother to help me out, I asked, “For the tal- ent show, what do you think I should do,singorputona comedy act?”
Glancing up from her paper, she said dryly, “What’s the differ- ence?”
A man opens an out- door stand to sell bagels and puts up a sign, "50 cents each." A jogger runs past and puts 50 cents into the bucket but doesn't take a bagel. The next day, he does the same thing. For weeks and then months, this goes on.
One day, as he's jog- ging past, the owner joins him. The jogger laughs and says, "I know why you're here. You want to know why I always put money in the bucket and never take a bagel?"
"No," says the owner, "not that. I just want to tell you that the bagels have gone up to 60 cents."
Man 1: "Today Facebook saved my life."
Man 2: "How?"
Man 1: "It reminded me about my wife's birthday!"
NRA Clarifies It Doesn’t Want To “Fist” The New York Times
By William Hughes
Preaching to a very scary, well- armed choir, the NRA released a video yesterday showing conserva- tive talk show host and commenta- tor Dana
Loesch cutting what was basically a wrestling promo, slamming that “old gray hag,” The New York Times. But while we’re basicallyaccus- tomed at this
point to hearing a gun rights organi- zation tell mem- bers of the media that it wants to fire “a warning shot” across their bows—or even outright declare “we’re coming for you”—those aren’t the words from Loesch’s video that have caught people’s notice.
No, the moment in question comes about 28 seconds in, when Loesch
declares she and her group are going to...some- thing...The New York Times. On repeated listens (and with proper context), it’s pretty clear she’s saying “fisk,” a blogging term that refers to refuting an article’s statements, point by point. But for those for whom that’s a new term, it definitely sounds like she said she wants to “fist” the paper of record, setting off some very weird back- and-forths in the media Twitter sphere. (Presumably not helped by the fact that the NRATV tweet includes a hashtag with the word “fist” right there in it.)
Much of the ire centered
on NYT reporter A dam Goldman, who was forced to delete an initial tweet claiming the
video was, in fact, about fisting. Loesch fired back, and the ball start- ed rolling from there, with both sides lobbing all sorts of insults and criticisms at each other. None of this was helped by the fact that Loesch is a woman existing on the internet; she’s been retweeting nega- tive comments for the last hour or so, and they range from the reason- able—pointing out that “fisk” is a niche word, and maybe shouldn’t be used so glibly in mass communi- cations—down to a lot of comments about her relation- ship with her hus- band, whether she should die or not, and all the other things people enjoy anonymous- ly saying to women they don’t like.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine