Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #456

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Two accountants go to their credit union on their lunch break, when armed robbers burst in. While sev- eral of the robbers take the money from the tellers, others line-up the customers, includ- ing the account- ants, up against a wall and proceed to take their wallets, watches, and other valuables.
While this is going on accountant number one jams something in accountant number two's hand. Without looking down, accountant number two whispers, "What is this?"
Number one replies, "It's that $50 I owe you."
A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"
"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I would have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FOR- TUNE!"
Why didn't the man report his stolen credit card?
The thief was spending less than his wife.
Three men were sitting on a park bench. The one in the middle was reading a newspa- per. The others were pretending to fish. They baited imaginary hooks, cast lines, and reeled in their catch.
A passing police- man stopped to watch the specta- cle and asked the man in the middle if he knew the other two.
“Oh yes,” he said. “They‘re my friends.”
“In that case,” warned the officer, “you’d better get them out of here!”
“Yes, sir,” the man replied and he began rowing furi- ously.
One Sunday a pas- tor found several letters awaiting him. He opened one and found it contained the sin- gle word, "Fool."
Quietly and with becoming serious- ness he shared the letter with the con- gregation and announced, "I have known many an instance of a per- son writing a letter and forgetting to sign his name, but this is the only instance I have
ever known of someone signing his name and for- getting to write the letter."
While working as a radiology techni- cian in a hospital emergency room, I took x-rays of a trauma patient. I brought the films to our radiologist, who studied the multiple fractures of the femurs and pelvis.
"What happened to this patient?" he asked in astonish- ment.
"He fell out of a tree," I reported.
The radiologist wanted to know what the patient was doing up a tree.
"I'm not sure, but his paperwork states he works for Bob's Expert Tree Service."
Gazing intently at the x-rays, the radi- ologist blinked and said, "Cross out 'Expert.'"
I gave my father $100 and said, “Buy yourself something that will make your life easi- er.”
So he went out and bought a present for my mother.
AWKWARD! Watch Sean Hannity Keep Getting Corrected By Shep Smith In New Supercut
CLICK Here https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=4&v=LHjFS5f1IT0
By Ed Mazza
Fox
News hosts Shep Smith and Sean Hannity are often worlds apart, with Smith using his broadcast to cor- rect some of the claims Hannity has made on his.
Earlier this year, Smith com- plained that the network’s opinion hosts, such as Hannity, “don’t really have rules.”
“Some of our opinion program- ming is
there strictly to be entertaining,” Smith told Time magazine. “I get that. I don’t work there. I wouldn’t work there. I don’t want to sit around and yell at each other and talk about your philosophy and my philoso- phy.”
Hannity was none too happy
about the dig.
“While Shep is a friend with politi- cal views I do not share, and great at breaking news, he is clue- less about what we do every day,” Hannity fired back.
Media Matters created a super- cut of Hannity making false claims and Smith contradicting him on Fox News.
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