Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #429

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
We Do Not Have A Child Slave Colony On Mars: NASA
A mother-in-law stopped by unex- pectedly the recently married couple's house. She knocks on the door, then immediately walks in. She is shocked to see her daughter-in- law lying on the couch, totally naked.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"I'm waiting for Jeff to come home from work," the daughter- in-law answered.
"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.
"This is my love dress," the daughter- in-law explained.
"Love dress? But you're naked!"
"Jeff loves me to wear this dress! It makes him happy and it makes me happy."
The mother-in-law on the way home thought about the love dress. When she got home she got undressed, showered, put on her best perfume and expectantly wait- ed for her husband, lying provocatively on the couch.
Finally her husband came home. He walked in and saw her naked on the couch.
"What are you doing?" he asked.
"This is my love dress," she replied.
"Needs ironing," he says" "What's for dinner?"
A patient sobs to his doctor, “I feel like a pair of curtains!”
Doctor replies, “Well pull yourself together man!”
The teacher was giv- ing her class of seven-year-olds a nature history les- son.
"Worker ants," she told them, "can carry pieces of food five times their own weight. What do you conclude from that?"
One child was ready with the answer, "They don't have a union?"
Itwas6p.m.,andI was about to leave the coin laundry where I was employed. My boss called me over and asked if I would mind dropping off some- one's laundry on my way home. "It's for my cousin," she said, "who is eight months pregnant and can't get out much anymore."
I cheerfully agreed and, driving to the address, knocked at the door. A little girl, the sister-to-be, answered.
"Hi, there," I said with a big smile. "Is your mommy home?" Holding up the white bundle of clothes, I explained, "I have a delivery for her."
The child's mouth dropped, and her eyes went wide. "Mom!" she shrieked, "come quick! It's the stork!"
Summer vacation was over and young Jack returned to school.
Only two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that Jack was misbe- having.
"Wait a minute," mother said. "I had Jack with me for three months and I never called you once when he mis- behaved."
A mother was sitting on the couch reading a book when one of her children walked up to her and said, "Mummy, why is my name Petal?"
The mother replied, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."
The next baby walked up and asked, "Mummy why is my name Rose?" she replied, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head."
The last baby walked up to her and said, "BLAS CLAFLAS YIFRAS- SAM TASSM POON- NFFFIINRTY."
The mother replied, "Please be quiet, Refrigerator."
By Shantanu David
He’s at it again. Conspiracy theorist and human gopher Alex Jones announced his lat- est revelation and it’s out of this world. On Infowars, his radio talk show, which is beamed across 118 stations in the US, his guest on Thursday was Robert David Steele, who, according to the lat- ter’s Wikipedia page and website, is a former clandestine services case officer at the Central Intelligence Agency (you know how much spies love publicity) and author of several books. He was also, briefly, the Reform Party candidate for the US Presidential Elections in 2012. Which is a shame when you imagine
the missed TV gold opportunity of him in debate with Donald Trump in this last election cycle.
But never mind all that. While on Jones’ show, Steele mentioned how NASA established a colony on Mars to which they shipped kidnapped children over a 20-year space ride. The fact that, in that case, they wouldn’t be kids anymore wasn’t touched upon. Once there, the “kids” have no alternative but to become slaves at the colony, because that’s just how NASA rolls apparently.
Not content with just enslaving said chil- dren, NASA also murders some of them for their blood and bone marrow, after terrifying them
first so that there’s enough adrenaline in the blood. This, according to Steele, isaformof pedophilia, which is, again, performed on 20-plus year old kids. NASA’s machi- nations include shutting off space probes, whenever in the vicinity of the slave camps, so that the rest of us don’t see them.
NASA denied the allegations, narrowly avoiding collectively rolling their eyes.
Fun fact: NASA’s budget is a little over 18 billion dol- lars. Estimates put the cost of initially putting just four people on Mars at six billion dollars. But then maybe the slaves get a chil- dren’s discount.
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