Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #483

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
An elderly couple was attending a church service.
About halfway through the wife leans over and says, "I just did a silent fart, what do you think I should do?"
The husband replies, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
There is a story about a monastery in Europe perched high on a cliff sev- eral hundred feet in the air.
The only way to reach the monastery was to be suspended in a basket which was pulled to the top by several monks who pulled and tugged with all their strength.
Obviously the ride up the steep cliff in that basket was terrifying. One tourist got exceedingly nerv- ous about half- way up as he noticed that the rope by which he was suspended was old and frayed.
With a trembling voice he asked the monk who was riding with him in the basket how often they
changed the rope.
The monk thought for a moment and answered brusquely, "Whenever it breaks."
There was once an aspiring veteri- narian who put himself through veterinary school working nights as a taxidermist.
Upon graduation, he decided he could combine his two vocations to better serve the needs of his patients and their owners, while doubling his prac- tice and, there- fore, his income.
He opened his own offices with a shingle on the door saying, "Dr. Jones, Veterinary Medicine and Taxidermy - Either way, you get your pet back!"
An elderly man went to the doctor for a visit. "Doc," he says," I am so stricken. I have chest pains, headaches, back pains, nausea, arthritis, constipa- tion, stomach cramps, ear- aches, burning in the eyes, con- gested lungs..."
"Sir," says the doctor, "you com-
plain you have so many things. What don't you have?"
The man answers, "Teeth."
Two youngsters were closely examining bath- room scales on display at the department store.
"Have you ever seen one of these before?" one asked.
"Yeah, my mom and dad have one," the other replied.
"What's it for?" asked the first boy.
"I don't know," the second boy answered. "I think you stand on it and it makes you say bad words.”
A man went into a cafe and asked for a meat pie. "Shall I cut it for you?" said the waiter.
"Yes, please," said the man.
"How many pieces?" asked the waiter, "Four or six?"
"Better make it four. I don't think I can eat six!"
KFC Is Testing Some
Kind of Chicken &
Donuts Sandwich
By Leah Asmelash, CNN
(CNN)In case you missed it, America has been kind of obsessed with ch icken sandwich- es lately.
But KFC's itera- tion may be tak- ing it a bit too far. Or maybe not.
KFC announced it will be testing a new combination of fried chicken and glazed doughnuts beginning September 16 -- a move that is either genius or insane.
Customers have two options: a chicken and doughnut basket meal for $5.49, which includes chicken tenders or bone-chicken plus a doughnut; or a chicken sandwich for $5.99, featuring a fried chicken patty between two doughnut buns -- the much more exciting option.
And if you just want the dough- nut? You can add one to any meal for a dollar.
To be honest, the combination of salty and sweet is a little enticing. It's basically like chicken and waf- fles, right? And that doughnut hamburger is already a staple at state
fairs across the country.
Maybe KFC is onto something.
Or maybe they're just trying to cap- italize on some of the chicken sandwich craze. Who's to say?
Either way, the new items will be
available only for a limited time, though KFC did- n't say when that time would end. And they're not nationally avail- able just yet -
- only in Norfolk and Richmond, Virginia, and Pittsburgh.
Notably, though, they're not in Kentucky. Hmmmm.
If weird fried chicken sand- wich combina- tions are your thing, KFC also created a Cheetos chicken sandwich over the summer. So this might not be the last of the chicken sand- wich game we see from KFC.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine