Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #469

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A little girl was sit- ting on her grand- father’s lap as he read her a bed- time story.
From time to time, she would take her eyes off the book and reach up to touch his wrinkled cheek.
She was alter- nately stroking her own cheek, then his again.
Finally she spoke up, “Grandpa, did God make you?”
“Yes, sweetheart,” he answered. “God made me a long time ago.”
“Oh,” she paused. “Grandpa, did God make me too?”
“Yes, indeed, honey,” he said. “God made you just a little while ago.”
Feeling their respective faces again, the little girl observed, “God’s getting better at it, isn’t He?”
I phoned my work this morning and said, “Sorry boss, I can’t come in
today, I have a wee cough.”
He said, “You have a wee cough?”
I said, “Really? Thanks boss, I could use a week off!"
I said to my boss the other day, "I need to leave early, I'm going to be a father!"
"Of course", he replied. "Take the afternoon off!"
“Right.”
“And he won!” Peter sighed.
“No. He came in seventh.”
A man is applying forajobinacir- cus. The inter- viewer asks: "So what can you do?"
"I can do a really good bird impres- sion" replied the man
"Oh we already have people who do that here, we won't be needing you for that"
"Oh well," the man said sadly and flew away.
When I returned to work the next day, my boss came to my desk, "Well, how'd it go? Is it a boy or a girl?"
"I dunno, I'll tell you in 9 months."
After leaving the racetrack Bill bumped into his old friend Peter on the bus. “Say,” Peter said, “How’s it going?”
“Going? You want to hear one of the most amazing things that ever happened? Tell me, what’s today’s date?”
“July seventh.”
“Right. The sev- enth day, of the seventh month. I go to the track at seven minutes past seven. My son is seven years old today, and we live at number seven, Seventh Avenue.”
“Let me guess,” Peter interrupted. “You put every- thing you had on the seventh horse in the seventh race.”
Police: Woman
Raped Teen As Man
Held Him Down
By Travis Gary
BUFFALO MILLS, Pa. (WJAC) - A man and woman are facing charges after police say the woman raped a boy while the man held him down.
Police say the victim contacted police and told them he had been raped by 24-year-old Brittany Sheetz of Buffalo Mills back in December at a residence on Milligan’s Cove Road.
Police say the victim told them that Sheetz had given him alco- hol and then sexually assault- ed him while 36- year-old Derek Edwards held him down in a bedroom.
According to police, the victim said that two other people had
walked into the room and wit- nessed Sheetz on top of the boy.
Police say the victim left with the two witness- es but never told them what had happened.
When police asked the boy why he didn’t come forward sooner, the vic- tim said he told his guardian he was raped but nothing was done, according to police.
Police say Sheetz denied the allegations when ques- tioned, saying that the victim and witnesses were being paid to make the story up by a man she had a prior relationship with.
According to online court doc- uments, Sheetz and Edwards are being held in the Bedford County Prison after being unable to post bail.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine