Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #507

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A man wakes up in his bed with a terrible hangover.
He looks to his bedside table and finds some ibuprofen and a glass of water.
He glances around the bed- room and sees that it is cleaner than usual and his work clothes are laid out.
He pops the ibuprofen and washes it down with water, and finds a note stuck to the bottom of the glass that read:
“Hey, honey, I ran to the store, there’s breakfast downstairs, I’ll be right back XOXO.”
Upon getting dressed and get- ting his wits, he goes downstairs to find that every- thing is immacu- late.
He enters the din- ing room to find his son at the table eating breakfast, on the table is a buffet of eggs, bacon, pan- cakes, fruit, yogurt, the whole nine yards.
Still foggy and hungover, he plops down at the
table, glances around at the pristine home.
His son asks, “How are you feeling?”
“What the hell happened last night?”
“Well, you came home, stumbling drunk. You knocked on your own door, waking everyone up. You knocked over, not one, but two bookcases. You also puked all over yourself while you were puking into the lit- ter box. You were a total mess.”
Dumbfounded and glancing around, he asked, “Then what is all of this? The food, everything is clean, I’m con- fused!”
“Oh, yeah, well, mom was trying to take your sick- covered clothes off and put you to bed, and as she was taking your pants off, you yelled, ‘GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME, WOMAN!!! I’M A MARRIED MAN!'”
A woman and her 7 years old son were inside a
Taxi.
It was raining and all the twilight girls were standing by the roadside.
The Boy asked; “Mummy, what are all those
women doing?.”
His Mother replied; “They are waiting for their husbands to come back from work.”
The Taxi driver turned around and said;
“Why don’t you tell him the truth?. Little boy,
they are prosti- tutes, they sleep with men for money.”
The Boy’s eyes got wide and asked; “Mummy is that true?”
His mother, glar- ing hard at the driver replied;
“Yes.!!”
After a few min- utes, the boy asked; “Mummy, what happens to the babies those women have?.”
She replied; “Most of them become Taxi driv- ers.”
Juice Company Offers $1M For Pitch To Use 50,000 Tons Of Pomegranate Waste
By Ben Hooper
Sept. 29 (UPI) -
- A California juice company is offering $1 mil- lion in funding and development resources for a plan to do some- thing about the 50,000 tons of pomegranate husks the firm disposes of each year.
The Wonderful Co., based in Los Angeles, said it is teaming up with food waste nonprofit ReFED to search for a way to use the rind, pith and seeds left over
from the juicing process in an environmentally friendly way.
The "Wonderful Innovation Challenge" is offering $1 mil- lion for the pitch that is ultimately selected.
The company said registration for the challenge is open through Dec. 7, and the pitches will then be put through a four-stage review process before the final plan is chosen.
"The Wonderful Innovation
Challenge was born out of our mission to con- tinually push the boundaries of sustainability by embracing bold, innovative ideas," said Steve Swartz, vice president of strategy at The Wonderful Co. "This competition will provide a select group of winners the resources they need to grow their business, make a positive impact, and help us fulfill our envi- ronmental mis- sion."
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine