Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #470

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A young man was walking through a supermarket to pick up a few things when he noticed an old lady following him around. Thinking nothing of it, he ignored her and continued on. Finally he went to the checkout line, but she got in front of him.
"Pardon me," she said, "I'm sorry if my staring at you has made you feel uncomfort- able. It's just that you look just like my son, who just died recently."
"I'm very sorry," replied the young man, "is there anything I can do for you?"
"Yes," she said, "As I'm leaving, can you say 'Good bye, Mother!' ? It would make me feel so much bet- ter."
"Sure," answered the young man.
As the old woman was leaving, he called out, "Goodbye, Mother!"
As he stepped up to the checkout counter, he saw that his total was $127.50.
"How can that be?" he asked, "I only purchased a few things!"
"Your mother said that you would pay for her," said the clerk.
My cousin just called and asked me if I could loan her $500 to help her pay her rent.
And you know me always willing to help my friends and family out.
I told her..."give me a minute let me check my account and I'll call you right back."
Before I could check my account my Aunt called and said, "Don’t give her any money because she's lying.”
She proceeds to tell me that she wants to use that $500 to get her boyfriend out of jail because she wants to be under the same roof with him for her birthday!!!
So I thought about it for a minute and decid- ed to go ahead and give her the $500 since we all need help at times...
So I gave her $500.
A couple of hours later, I got a call from the Jail, I say hello and she starts screaming and asking, “Why did you give me counterfeit money?!"
I replied: "so you and your boyfriend would be under the same roof for your birthday! You're welcome!"
A man and his wife are dining at a table in a plush restaurant, and the husband keeps staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sits alone at a nearby table.
The wife asks, "Do you know her?"
"Yes," sighs the husband, "she's my ex-girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up seven years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."
"My God!" says the wife. "Who would think a per- son could go on celebrating that long?"
India: Opium-addicted
Parrots ‘Wreak Havoc'
For Farmers
Opium farmers in India are com- plaining that addicted parrots are destroying their crops.
The farmers in Madhya Pradesh state say that along with a sea- son of uneven rainfall, the par- rots are having a serious impact on their yields.
They say that attempts to scare the birds away with loudspeak- ers have made little difference and local authori- ties have not helped.
The parrots could cause them to suffer huge losses, the farmers warn.
Asian News International (ANI) tweeted a video of birds fly- ing away with an entire poppy flower.
The farmers sup- ply the drug to medicinal com- panies and have
a licence to grow the plant.
One grower, Nandkishore, told NDTV he had tried making loud sounds and even used fire- crackers to scare off the birds.
He explained that one poppy flower produces 20-25 grams of opium, but "a large group of parrots feeds on these plants around 30-40 times a day and some even fly away with poppy pods".
"Nobody is lis-
tening to our problems. Who will compensate for our losses?" he said.
Dr RS Chundawat, an opium specialist at a Horticulture College in Mandsaur, told The Daily Mail that opium gives the birds instant energy - similar to the effect of tea or coffee for a human.
He said that once the birds had experienced this feeling, they would quickly fall prey to the addiction.
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