Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #522

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A man with a piece of paper in his hand comes into an office where another man is sitting next to a shredding machine.
"Do you know how to operate this thing?" he asks.
"I have an impor- tant paper here and I want to make sure this is done right."
"Sure," the other man answers. "Just put the paper in here and press this button."
The first man does so, saying, "Great”.
And where do the copies come out?
Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight," the boy replied.
The man contin- ued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him. He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you would be able to swim, play tennis and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do none of those."
"If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?"
"One dollar."
"You don't know your arithmetic."
"You don't know my father!"
A motorcycle cop was rushed to the hospital with an inflamed appen- dix.
The doctors oper- ated and advised him that all was well. However, the patrolman kept feeling something pulling at the hairs on his chest. Worried that it might be a second surgery the doctors hadn't told him about, he finally got enough energy to pull his hospital gown
down enough so he could look at what was making him so uncomfort- able.
Taped firmly across his hairy chest were three wide strips of adhesive tape, the ultra sticky kind. Written in large black letters was the sentence, "Get well soon! Luv, from the nurse you gave a ticket to last week!"
Bob stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity. He wag- gled, looked up, looked down, waggled again, but didn't start his back swing.
Finally his exas- perated partner asked, "what the hell is taking so long?"
"My wife is up there watching me from the club- house," Bob explained. "I want to make a perfect shot."
"Good lord!" his companion exclaimed. "You don't have a snowball's chance in hell of hitting her from here."
Spanish Confectioners Recreate Picasso's 'Guernica' In Chocolate
By Ben Hooper
May 5 (UPI) -
- Confectioners in Spain used about 1,102 pounds of choco- late to create an edible version
of Pablo Picasso's 1937 painting Guernic a.
Chocolatiers and pastry chefs hail- ing from Basque created the 24.6- foot-by-11.4-
foot version of the painting to commemorate the 85th anniver- sary of the April 26, 1937, bomb- ing of Guernica during the Spanish Civil War.
The painting depicts people and animals being killed and injured during the bombing
by Francisco Franco's
Nationalist fac- tion.
The chocolate version
of Guernica is cu rrently housed in a temperature- controlled room at the Reina Sofia art muse- um in Madrid, and later will be taken on tour across Spain, Germany and France.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine