Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #532

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Barney: I have a three-season bed.
Wilma: What is a three-season bed?
Barney: One with- out a spring.
The kids were coming into class and sitting down, they were dis- cussing MONEY, talking about where currency was made. Billy said, "At the mint."
Frank piped up, and said, "No, that is where coins are made."
Janie had the best answer, though. She said, "Money is made at the ATM. That's what the letters stand for... All The Money!"
The racehorse owner was annoyed with the running of his horse at the race. He turned on the jockey.
"Flaherty, could you not have raced faster?"
"Sure I could have, but you know we're sup- posed to stay on the horse."
A new pastor was
visiting in the homes of his parishioners. At one house it seemed obvious that someone was at home, but no answer came to his repeated knocks at the door. Therefore, he took out a business card and wrote 'Revelation 3:20' on the back of it and stuck it in the door.
When the offering was processed at the next worship service, he found that his card had been returned. Added to it was this cryptic mes- sage, 'Genesis 3:10'.
Reaching for his Bible to check out the citation, he soon broke out in laughter. Revelation 3:20 begins 'Behold, I stand at the door and knock.'
Genesis 3:10 reads: 'I heard your voice in the garden and I was afraid for I was naked.'
What's the differ- ence between the Pope and your boss?
The Pope only expects you to
kiss his ring!
My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again.
MAN, I sure am LUCKY!
I mean, first I win the lottery and now THIS!!!
In a well known fortune 500 com- pany the employ- ee lounge was seldom used. As executives walked by the lounge each day they noticed a man with his feet up, shoes off and a loosened tie watching the tele- vision.
The next day the man was still there and so on. After a week or so talk around the water fountain led many employees to band together and confront the man.
The group met at the employee lounge and asked the man, "Why are you here and who hired you?"
After swallowing the popcorn he replied, "The CEO is so busy he hired me to watch TV for him."
Danish Police Confiscate Luxury Sports Car Caught Speeding
COPENHAGEN, Denmark (AP) — Danish police have confiscated a high-perform- ance luxury car after its new owner was caught speeding as he drove it home from Germany to Norway, a north- ern Danish news- paper reported Friday.
The man, an Iraqi citizen resi- dent in Norway who was not identified, was registered
Thursday as driv- ing at 236 kph (147 mph) in his Lamborghini Huracan on a stretch of high- way where the top speed is 130 kph (81 mph).
Under a new Danish law, police can seize the vehicles of reckless drivers and auction them off, with the money going into Danish coffers.
The Nordjyske newspaper said the man had
bought the car hours earlier in Germany for 2 million kroner ($310,000).
Jess Falberg, the on-duty officer with the northern Denmark police, told Nordjyske that the owner was “a little annoyed” when the car was seized.
The car owner will also be fined for speeding in due course.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine