Page 8 - IAV Digital Magazine #467

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Kim Jong-un Demands Citizens Hand Over Huge Piles of Human Poo
CRACKPOT North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un has ordered citizens to hand over their poo to government officials.
The tubby tyrant, 35, believes his barmy order will save North Korea's tanking economy by turbocharging the farming sector with cheap manure.
According
to RadioFreeAsia, the pariah state's starving population is expected to hand over an unbelievable 100kg of human excrement EVERY DAY.
If they can't, the can supply 300kg of compost instead, the radio station claims.
The demand for manure means some workers have allegedly
asked to be paid in POO rather than cash.
A DPRK source said: "The entire population has been mobilized to produce manure as the first major task of the year.
"The authorities in each local region task factories, insti- tutions and citizens groups with assigning produc- tion quotas to each individual.
"They are demand- ing that each per- son produce 100kg of human feces per day, or about 3 tons per month.
"But how on earth can it be possible for one person to make 3 tons of human feces and deliver it?"
Desperate citizens are reportedly try- ing to make up the deficit by buying
excrement from specialist poo mer- chants.
Another source added: "The resi- dents of Chongjin City have been fully mobilized to fulfil this task.
"People are angry, criticizing the regime for [deliber- ately setting quo- tas so high] to force people to pay cash, then claiming it’s for agricultural production.”
"In winter, there isn’t as much manure and com- post.
"Cash payments exceed the value of the manure that actually ends up being delivered, so people are saying the regime is just using the quota as a means to collect more money from the citizens.”
McDonald’s Launches ‘McFalafel’ Nuggets In Sweden
McDonald’s loca- tions in Sweden are getting a vegan upgrade to their menu. The fast food chain announced it will now start serv- ing bite-sized falafel nuggets in the Scandinavian nation.
The new ‘McFalafel’ meal will be part of a vegan Happy Meal which includes apples, carrots or a small order of fries. The falafel will also come with one of two dips — a yogurt sauce
with herbs or a vegan pepper dip.
The falafel nuggets will be made with chick- peas, parsley, garlic and
cumin, according to British
online news out- let The Independent.
McDonald’s made the announcement with an Instagram post which said, “Have you heard the news? Soon we have #McFalafel on the menu.”
McDonald’s loca- tions across the Nordic region launched the McVegan burger in 2017. The sandwich exceeded indus- try expectations and added the first vegan option to the McDonald’s loca- tions in Europe.
A recent poll by Animal Rights Sweden revealed that almost one in 10 Swedes now eat a plant- based diet.