Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #424

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
A nun wanted to enter a racehorse into a race, but then she realized that they cost way too much money, so instead, she bought a donkey.
The next day, she enters it into a con- test, and it comes in third. The headlines read, ''Nun's Ass Chokes.''
The next day, she entered it in another competition and this time it came in first. The headlines were, ''Nun's Ass Wins Grand Prize.''
The following day, the owner scratched the donkey from the race. The headlines read, ''Booker Scratches Nun's Ass.''
And on the next day, the nun sold the donkey for a really cheap price. The headlines were ''Nun Sells Her Ass for $5.''
An old farmer decid- ed it was time to get a new rooster for his hens. The current rooster was still doing an okay job, but he was getting on in years and the farmer figured get- ting a new rooster couldn't hurt. So he buys a new cock from the local roos- ter emporium, and turns him loose in the barnyard. Well, the old rooster sees the young one strut- ting around and he's a little worried about being replaced. He
walks up to the new bird.
"So you're the new stud in town? I bet you really think you're hot stuff don't you? Well I'm not ready for the chop- ping block yet. I'll bet I'm still the better bird. And to prove it, I challenge you to a race around that hen house over there. We'll run around it ten times and who- ever finishes first gets to have all the hens for himself."
Well, the young rooster was a proud sort, and he definite- ly thought he was more than a match for the old guy.
"You're on," he said, "and since I'm so great, I'll even give you a head start of half a lap. I'll still win easy!"
So the two roosters go over to the hen- house to start the race with all the hens gathering to watch. The race begins and all the hens start cheering the old rooster on. After the first lap, the old rooster is still maintaining his lead.
After the second lap, the old guy's lead has slipped a little -- but he's still hanging in there. Unfortunately, the old rooster's lead continues to slip each time around, and by the fifth lap he's just barely in front of the young fella. By now the
farmer has heard the commotion. He runs into the house, gets his shotgun and runs into the barnyard fig- uring a fox or some- thing is after his chickens. When he gets there, he sees the two roosters run- ning around the hen- house, with the old rooster still slightly in the lead.
He immediately takes his shotgun, aims, fires, and blows the young rooster away.
"Damn. That's the third gay rooster I've bought this month."
Little Johnny's teacher asks him to make a sentence using the following words: defeat, deduct, defense and detail.
Little Johnny says, "De feet of de duck went over de fence before de tail."
An Irish priest is driv- ing down to New York and gets stopped for speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of the car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
"Just water," says the priest. The troop- er says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it again!"
“His Face Transformed”
Jay Weinstein loves to travel and photo- graph India and her beautiful people.
He tells Jacqui Hocking about how he was inspired to capture smiling and unsmiling versions of people, to help discover something about ourselves.
"A couple of years ago I was in Bikaner, in the Indian state of Rajasthan. Camera in hand, I was exploring palaces and forts for a travel project I was going to be leading.
It was getting dark and I decided to wander towards the train station.
Amongst some bicy- cles and parked scooters stood a man who I wanted to photograph. However, the stern look on his face caused me to assume he would
object to my cam- era. So I approach his more jovial friends in the shop he was lurking near.
As I photographed them, he called out in Hindi: 'Take a pic- ture of me too.' Happily, I turned to face him, camera in hand, and asked him to smile.
He was a different person with that grin!
I realised then that most of us are strangers. And we read and project a set of values based primarily on facial expressions.
We also don't take much time to jump to our conclusions and move on.
Thus we miss out on meeting some really lovely people.
I thought it would be fun to capture a smiling and unsmil-
ing version of some of the people I met on my photography walks.
I wanted to recreate the experience of meeting strangers, no names, no sto- ries; just two ver- sions of a human face.
The purpose of this project, like a mirror, is to help discover something about
us. How do we react? What do we know? Is it impor- tant to smile?
To me personally "So I asked them to smile" shows that we are all funda- mentally the same regardless of nationality, gender, religion, or socio- economic status.
It humanizes, mak- ing people more approachable, and that is what I love about it."
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