Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #496

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time, and this should help get you started.
During a visit to the mental asy- lum, a visitor asked the director what the criterion was that defined whether or not a patient should be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a tea- spoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bath- tub."
"Oh, I under- stand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the bucket because it's big- ger than the spoon or the teacup."
"No," said the Director, "A nor- mal person would pull the plug. Do you want a room with or without a view?"
A newly graduat- ed woman gets a
job as a physical education teacher to 16 year olds. She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the
other kids are running around having fun kicking a ball.
She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him. 'You OK?' she says.
'Yes.' he says. 'You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says. 'It's best I stay here.' he says. 'Why's that sweet- ie?' says the teacher.
The boy looks at her incredulously and says "Because I'm the goalie!’
A grocer put up a sign that read "Eggplants, 25¢ each -- three for a dollar."
All day long, cus- tomers came in exclaiming: "Don't be ridiculous! I should get four for a dollar!"
Meekly the grocer capitulated and
packaged four eggplants.
The tailor next door had been watching these antics and finally asked the grocer, "Aren't you going to fix the mistake on your sign?"
"What mistake?" the grocer asked. "Before I put up that sign no one ever bought more than one egg- plant."
Two small boys met during their first day at school.
“My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My daddy is an accountant. What does your daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My daddy is a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Billy.
"No, just the nor- mal kind," replied Tommy.
New Orleans Father And Son Invent 'Social Distancing Circle'
Click here for Video: https://www.upi.com/Odd_News/2020/04/03/New-Orleans- father-and-son-invent-Social-Distancing- Circle/5801585944147/?mpse=2
By Ben Hooper
April 3 (UPI) -- A New Orleans father and son duo created a viral video show- ing off their coro- navirus-inspired invention: a "Social Distancing Circle" to keep others at bay.
TikTok user IMPATMAN said he and his dad, who goes by UNCLEBUB-
BLEGUM on the video-sharing site, decided to create the circle as a means of highlighting the importance of social distancing to avoid contract- ing COVID-19.
"It's a 6-foot social distance circle," the
son told WGNO- TV, with his father clarifying that has a 12- foot diameter. "[It's] comprised
of a lot of pipes and a tarp. We stood in the mid- dle and around it was everybody on the outside, basically."
The pair said they took their invention to Lafreniere Park, where confused onlookers asked if they were attempting to fly a giant kite or erect an unusual trampoline.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine