Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #512

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
An Austrian maid asks the wife who employs her for a pay raise.
The wife became very angry about this and decided to talk to her about this raise.
She asked, “Now Anna, why do you think you should get a pay increase?”
Well, madam, there are three reasons why I should. The 1st is that I do iron bet- ter than you.”
Wife: “Who said you iron better than me?”
Anna: “Your hus- band he say so.” Wife: “Oh yeah?”
The second rea- son : “that I am a better cook than you.”
Wife: “That’s a lie, who said you were a better cook than me?”
Anna: “Your hozban he did.” Wife increasingly agitated: “Oh he did, did he?”
Anna: “The third reason is that I am better than you in bed.”
The wife, really boiling now and through gritted teeth, asks, “And did my husband say that as well?”
Anna: “No Madam... The gardener did.”
A moment of silence passes...)
So... how much do you want?”
A male crab met a female crab at a party and asked her to marry him. She noticed that he was walking straight instead of sideways. Wow, she thought, this crab is really spe- cial. I can't let him get away. So, they got married immediately.
The next day she noticed her new husband walking sideways like all the other crabs, and got upset.
"What hap- pened?" she asked. "You used to walk straight before we were married."
"Oh, honey," he replied, "I can't drink that much every day."
My poor wife was sick in bed with the flu. Being a dutiful husband, I offered to fix her some of her favorite herbal tea. I couldn't find the tea though and went back upstairs to ask where it was.
She said, "I don't know how it could be any easier to see. It's in the pantry, third shelf down, in a cocoa tin marked 'matches'. Can't see how you missed it?"
My three year old was saying his nightly prayers in a very low voice.
"I can't hear you," I whispered.
He said firmly, "Wasn't talking to you."
Eve: "My dear Jack is so forget- ful."
Celia: "I agree. At the party last night I had to keep reminding him that it's you that he's engaged to and not me."
China Recommends Flight Attendants Wear Diapers
By Ben Hooper
Dec. 10 (UPI) -
- China's aviation authority released new COVID-19 safety guidelines that include the sug- gestion that flight attendants wear diapers to avoid using plane lava- tories.
The Civil Aviation Administration of China's docu- ment, titled Technical Guidelines for Epidemic Prevention and Control for
Airlines, offers suggestions for hygiene practices to pre- vent flight crew members from contracting the coronavirus.
The document, which includes recommenda- tions for use of medical masks and other per- sonal protective equipment, drew attention online for one unusual suggestion: "It is recommended that cabin crew members wear disposable dia-
pers and avoid using the lavato- ries barring spe- cial circum- stances to avoid infection risks."
The recommen- dation comes after a woman flying from Italy to South Korea in August contract- ed COVID-19 during her trip, and investigators cited her visit to the lavatory -- the only place on the plane where she removed her mask--asa possible cause of her infection.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine