Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #478

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Husband and wife are shopping in Safeway when the man picks up a dozen bottles of Budweiser and sticks it into the cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the wife.
"They're on spe- cial, only $10 for 12 bottles," he says.
"Put them back. We can't afford it," says the wife and they carry on shopping...
A few aisles later the woman picks up a $20 jar of face cream and sticks it into the cart.
"What do you think you're doing?" asks the man.
"It's my face cream. It makes me look beauti- ful," she says.
The man replies, "So does 12 bot- tles of budWeiser. And it's half the price!"
During the course of being inter- viewed by the press, the noted
doctor was asked by a reporter: "Doctor, did you ever make a mis- take as a doctor and what was your biggest mis- take?"
"Yes," was the reply, "I once cured a multi-mil- lionaire in three visits!"
A man went into a cafe and asked for a whole apple pie. "Shall I cut it for you?" said the waiter.
"Yes, please," said the man.
"How many pieces?" asked the waiter, "Four, six or eight ?
"Better make it four. I don't think I can eat eight!"
St. Peter and Satan were hav- ing an argument about baseball. Satan wanted the game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand picked play- ers.
"Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven. "But you realize, I hope,
that we've got all the best players and the smartest coaches."
"I know, and that's all right," Satan answered unper- turbed. "We've got all the umpires."
A woman, whose husband often came home drunk, decided to cure him of the habit.
One Halloween night, she put on a devil suit and hid behind a tree to intercept him on the way home. When her hus- band came by, she jumped out and stood before him with her red horns, long tail, and pitchfork.
"Who are you?" he asked. "I'm the Devil!" she responded. "Well, come on home with me," he said, "I married your sister!"
A man phoned to find out whether he could get insurance if the nearby volcano erupted...
They assured him he would be cov- ered
AmericanKidsWant ToBeFamous
OnYouTube, AndKidsInChina
Want ToGoToSpace: Survey
By Paige Leskin Neil Armstrong became a role model in the eyes of kids everywhere 50 years ago when he became
the first person to walk on the moonon July 20, 1969.
Kids in a recent survey, however, were much more likely to aspire to be the next YouTube star rather than the next person in space. The sur- vey, conducted by Harris Poll on behalf of
Lego, found that children in the US and the United Kingdom were three times as likely to want to be YouTubers or vloggers as astronauts when they grow up.
The survey asked 3,000 kids ages 8 to 12 to choose from five professions to answer which they wanted to be when they grew up: astro- naut, musician, professional ath- lete, teacher, or vlogger/YouTube r. Though the top
choice among kids in the US and the UK was vlogger/YouTube r, 56% of kids in China said they wanted to be an astronaut.
The nonprobabil- ity online survey was conducted in honor of the 50th anniversary of the first manned moon landing. The poll surveyed 3,000 kids, ages 8 to 12, divided even- ly among the US, the UK, and China.
Though the sur- vey's results cannot necessar- ily be applied to all kids, the
results reflect a trend seen among Generation Z. As evident at this year's VidCon, a three-day confer- ence about online video, an estimated 75,000 teens and their parents showed up to hear from their favorite YouTubers.
"Every time I go to schools, the most said thing from 90% of kids is, 'I want to be a YouTuber,'" the YouTuber DeStorm Power told Business Insider. "They want to be social-media stars."
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine