Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #446

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A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of chil- dren while they drew. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she got to one little girl who was work- ing diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "but no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
The surgeon approached his patient, just as he woke up from hav- ing surgery. “I'm afraid we 're going to have to operate on you again. You see, I forgot my rubber gloves inside you.”
The patient replied, “Tell you what Doc, if it’s just because of that, just leave them inside. I'd rather pay for them than have you go back in.”
Two friends were chatting. "I've just bought a pig!" said the first.
"But where will you keep it?" asked the
second. "Your yard's much too small for a pig!"
"I'm going to keep it under my bed," replied the first.
"But what about the smell?"
"He'll soon get used to that."
Me: What's the wifi password here?
Bartender: You need to buy a drink first.
Me: Okay, I'll have a coke.
Bartender: Is Pepsi okay?
Me: Sure. How much is that?
Bartender: $3.
Me: There you go. So what's the wifi password?
Bartender: "You need to buy a drink first". No spaces, all lowercase.
I went to a restau- rant. It was full. There was no place to sit and the wait was over thirty minutes.
I took out my cell phone, placed it to my ear, and said loudly, "Hey, get over here! She's here with someone else!"
Six couples got up and quickly left.
Six-year old Angie and her four-year old brother, Joel, were sitting togeth- er in church. Joel giggled, sang and talked out loud. Finally, his big sis- ter had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church."
"Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked.
Angie pointed to the back of the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're hushers."
An elderly woman decided to prepare her will and told her preacher she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated. Second, she want- ed her ashes scat- tered over Walmart.
"Walmart?" the preacher exclaimed. "Why Walmart?"
"Then I'll be sure my daughters will visit me twice a week."
Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to be able to break 100 on this course."
Caddy: "Try heav- en. You've already moved most of the earth."
Gold Spills On Russian Runway After Plane Door Glitch
By Associated Press
Russian news reports say the hatch of a cargo plane carrying precious metals accidentally flew open upon takeoff — scat- tering at least 3 tons of gold on the runway.
An investigation is underway after the inci- dent Thursday at the airport in the far east city of Yakutsk,
according to the Tass news agency.
An An-12 plane operated by
the airline Nimb us took off for Krasnoyarsk carrying 9.3 tons of gold and other precious metals, accord- ing to a state- ment from the state Investigative Committee quoted by Tass. Damage to a door handle caused it to fly
open and spill some of the metal.
Authorities recovered 172 gold bars weighing 3.4 tons, Tass quot- ed Interior Ministry officials as saying.
No one was hurt in the inci- dent. Images circulating on social media showed gold bars scattered across a run- way.
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