Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #459

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
Kenny, a city boy, moved to the coun- try and purchased a car from a farmer for $100. The farmer agreed to deliver the car the following day. The next morning, the farmer drove up and said, "Sorry, son, but I have some bad news. The car broke down."
"OK, well, just return my money to me," Kenny said.
"Sorry, can't do that," said the farmer. "I already spent it."
"OK then, just unload the car," said Kenny.
"Whatcha gonna do with it?" asked the farmer.
"I'm going to raffle it off," Kenny replied.
"You can't raffle off a broken-down car!" the farmer exclaimed.
"Of course I can," replied Kenny. "Watch me. I just won't tell anybody it doesn't work."
A few weeks later, the farmer met up with Kenny and asked, "So, what happened with the car?"
"I raffled it off. I
sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00," explained Kenny.
"Didn't anyone complain?" inquired the farmer.
Kenny proudly replied, "Just the guy who won. So, I gave him his two dollars back."
Two people walk into a gas station.
The first one says, "These prices are awful. They just keep going higher!"
The second replies, "It doesn't affect me at all. I always put in just $20 worth."
Our favorite restau- rant has a waitress whose name-tag reads "Beautiful".
"Is that really your name?" I asked her.
"No," she admitted. "But if people are going to holler at meallday,Icanat least be called something I like."
Did you hear about the ancient Egyptian man that launched a suc- cessful stone quar- ry business?
Turns out it was a pyramid scheme all along.
My husband was going on a diet, but when we pulled into a fast-food restaurant, he ordered a milk- shake. I pointed out that a shake isn't exactly the best snack for someone who wants to lose weight. He agreed, but he didn't change his order.
The long line must have given him time to make the connection between his order and his waistline. As the woman handed him his shake, she said, "Sorry about the wait."
"That's okay," he replied. "I'm going to lose it."
My wife and I went to a "Dude Ranch" while in Texas.
The cowboy preparing the hors- es asked if she wanted a Western or English saddle, and she asked what the difference was. He told her one had a horn and one didn't.
"Well," she replied, "the one without the horn is fine. I don't expect we'll run into too much traffic."
29-Year-Old Man Dies of
Brain-Eating Parasite After
Swimming in a Wave Pool
By Julie Mazziotta
A 29-year-old New Jersey man has died of a brain-eating par- asite after swim- ming in a wave pool at a Texas resort.
Fabrizio Stabile swam at the BSR Cable Park in Waco, Texas dur- ing a visit to the area, before returning home to New Jersey.
Then on Sept. 16, Stabile was mowing the lawn when he had to stop due to a severe headache . He took med- ication and slept through the night, but was still deal- ing with pain the next day, and went back to sleep with more medication.
That afternoon, his mother tried to wake him up but Stabile was unable to get out of bed or speak
coherently, and he was rushed to the hospital, according to his GoFundMe page.
Doctors treated him for bacterial meningitis after seeing that he had brain swelling and a fever, but he did- n’t respond to the medication and his condition worsened.
After four days of testing, they finally deter- mined on Thursday that Stabile had con- tracted the rare
Naegleria fow- leri parasite, but it was too late to help. He died the next day, Sept. 21.
Cases of Naegleria fowleri are extremely rare, with just 34 reported infec- tions in the U.S. between 2008 and 2017, according to the Centers for Disease Control. And surviving it is unlikely — of the 143 known cases total, between 1962 and 2017, just 4 people have sur- vived, a 97 per- cent fatality rate.
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