Page 17 - IAV Digital Magazine #500

iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine
My son asked me if a punch bowl is a place where you keep names of people you want to punch...
I usually keep them in my head but, keeping them in a fancy crystal bowl seems classy.
A grocery store manager chased a shoplifter through dry goods and frozen foods before catching him with a flying tackle in cleaning supplies.
That's when the manager noticed that all of the cus- tomers in line at the cash registers were staring.
"Everything's fine, folks," he assured them. "This guy just tried to go through the express lane with more than ten items."
Lockdown......It's a sign of the time.... it's like being 16 again...
Gas is cheap and I'm grounded again!
Yesterday my hus- band thought he saw a cockroach in the kitchen. He sprayed everything down and cleaned
thoroughly.
Today I’m putting a cockroach in the bathroom.
After eight days of backpacking with my wife Linda, we were looking pretty scruffy. One morn- ing she came to breakfast in a baseball cap, her shoulder length hair sticking out at odd angles.
"Terry," she said, "does my hair make me look like a water buffalo?"
I thought for a moment, then said, "If I tell you the truth, do you prom- ise not to charge?"
Anoldmanwasa witness in a burgla- ry case. The defense lawyer asked Richard, "Did you see my client commit this burglary?"
"Yes," said Richard, "I saw him plainly take the goods."
The lawyer asks Richard again, "Richard, this hap- pened at night. Are you sure you saw my client commit this crime?"
"Yes," says Richard, "I saw him
do it."
Then the lawyer asks Richard, "Richard listen, you are 80 years old and your eye sight probably is bad. Just how far can you see at night?"
Richard says, "I can see the moon, how far is that?"
A man having lunch at a Chinese restaurant noticed that the table had been set with forks, not chopsticks. He asked why. The waiter said, "Chopsticks are provided only on request."
"But," the man countered, "if you gave your patrons chopsticks, you wouldn't have to pay someone to wash all the forks."
"True," the waiter shot back, "but we'd have to hire two more people to sweep the floor."
Young Maiden: "Yes, I've been asked many times to get married."
Friend: "Really, who's asked you?"
Young Maiden: "My mother and father."
North Korea Might Be Making Millions Selling Sand
(CNN) – North Korea is being accused of mak- ing millions of dollars, and breaking its sanctions, by selling sand.
Analysts at the Center for Advanced Defense Studies (C4ADS), a non- profit research organization based in Washington, D.C., said they first noticed dozens of ships mysteriously sail- ing to North Korea in May 2019.
The analysts said they then discovered a massive opera- tion involving 279 ships – which had links to China – being used to dredge and transport sand.
Satellite images show clouds of sand, under what appear to be dozens of barges and dredgers, being extracted from the sea off the North Korean city of Haeju.
The alleged operation would violate United
Nations sanc- tions passed in December 2017 banning North Korea from exporting earth and stone.
In a report released in April, U.N. investiga- tors said North Korea made at least $22 million last year by sell- ing sand.
North Korea has not publicly responded to the allegations, but it often refers to the sanctions as “hostile acts” and questions their legitimacy.
iAV - Antelope Valley Digital Magazine