Page 61 - Tree of Happiness

EXERCISES Confronting the Dragon
The exercise for this program is “Confront the Dragon .” Once again, this exercise is a Coping Skill, which can be used throughout your life, not just during this program. Adults who are having problems in their lives, ranging from substance abuse to depression, often lack the skills being taught in this program. It only goes to reason therefore that if you learn these skills when you are young and practice them into adulthood, the likelihood of you having these problems is reduced.
The Dragon is one of the centerpieces of the story, The Tree of Happiness. It is used to represent your fears. The dramatic nature of a dragon character helps us to visualize the power of those fears. Your personal dragons can be anything, from a fear of failure to a fear of being alone. For a child, it may be as concrete as the fear of falling off a bike to a vague fear of not being liked.
Just as with the Queen, all of your personal Dragons (fears) must be faced. However, facing the Dragon does not come naturally. For most of us, avoiding the Dragon is what comes naturally. Unfortunately, if we follow our natural tendencies, the Dragons will control us rather than us controlling them.
Think about someone who is a “Personal Dragon .” Maybe they have been ugly to you or they are someone you owe money to or something like that. When you think about them, do you suddenly become angry or scared? If you pull up to the store and you see them going in, do you ask your parent to go to another store or ask to wait in the car until they leave? Do you avoid studying a particular subject because you find it difficult or because you have made bad grades in it in the past? If this fits, they are a Dragon for you. Can you see in this example that you are adjusting your life based on avoiding your “Dragon?”
Your Dragon need not be a person as it could be your “Fear of asking a question in class,” or “Being assertive with your friend,” or “Placing reasonable expectations on your playmates.” You know it is a Dragon if when you think about it, you become fearful. Then you think of reasons why this is not a good time to deal with it and later become angry with yourself for not dealing with it.
21