Page 22 - SB-Rules are your Friends

Sometimes your problem with a rule may be that you don’t really understand it. “Don’t be loud when someone is on the phone,” is not the same as, “You can never make any noise.” This is why it is important to define what a rule really is saying.
Often, no one tells you the purpose of a rule, so you need to find that out. The purpose of the rule about not being loud is to allow the person on the phone to hear the conversation not just to keep you quiet.
You may not understand the thinking behind the rule and assume that it is meant to be ugly to you. In our example, the thinking is that loud noise in the room will make it difficult to carry on a conversation on the phone. That thinking is logical and rational and is Good Thinking.
But you also need to be aware of your thinking if you are considering breaking a rule. If you say to yourself, “She is always telling me to be quiet, that’s not fair. I can be as loud as I want to be,” your thinking is Stinky and will cause Not OK emotions and Thumbs Down behavior.
You should get in the habit of evaluating the consequences of breaking any rule. In this case the short term consequences of rule breaking might be getting fussed at or punished. But if you break some rules, by not doing homework or smoking, you may have long term negative consequences that will cause you life problems. If you follow these rules, you will find that Rules are Your Friends.
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