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PARENT NOTES JEFF THE MONKEY
TOPIC: Accepting personal responsibility and the need to learn difficult tasks can seem like something we all should want to learn. Some children however interact with adults and other children that allow them to avoid learning these skills and as a consequence they get “left behind.” Jeff the Monkey is a straightforward tale of a monkey who refused to learn how to climb a tree and ultimately was left behind, to an apparent sorry fate when the monkey troop moved on.
Within this story are some of the irrational beliefs that contribute to problematic behaviors and emotions. These behaviors and emotions are often associated with substance abuse because the drugs are being used as a coping mechanism for under-achievement, social rejection and poor self-image that these irrational beliefs (Stinky Thinking) facilitate. An Associated Press article discussed study of 2,800 girls ages 11-18 that showed a direct link of teen girls’ pursuit of thinness (need for acceptance) with smoking “Trading pounds off their weight for years off their life.”
If your daughter tells herself that she must be accepted by a certain group or to be seen as beautiful or very thin and that smoking will fulfill this need, she will smoke. You can’t scare her out of the smoking by showing her black lungs. You can’t punish her out of smoking; she will just do it when you are not around. It is not the addiction of tobacco, it is what she is telling herself about herself and that is what must change. Taking control of your thinking will allow you to take control of your life. Jeff is a character that has not learned this yet.
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