Page 28 - G-Dr. Nice or Mr. Nasty
P. 28

Demandingness, is the result of telling ourselves should, must and ought messages, I should be able to take another turn, it is my ball. When we think this way, we are not considering our behavior’s impact on others and we feel justified in our anger. Children who behave in this manner habitually are labeled spoiled or inconsiderate. But labels do not give understanding of the cause... their irrational Demandingness... for their unacceptable behavior nor does it provide them with any skills to change.
In the second situation, one girl calls another a name and they both let their Mr. Nasty out. This situation is easily recognizable as typical children’s behavior. Unfortunately, for many in our society, there is the expectation that you should become angry if someone calls you a name.
Once again the young crows are confused because in their animal society, they are taught that you should ignore the name caller. Becoming angry, fighting or asking an adult to make them stop may temporarily halt the name calling but consistently ignoring it will eliminate this behavior in the name caller.
In the final example, the young crows are told of a group of children who let out their Mr. Nasty because they made poor grades on a test. Their anger is directed toward the teacher (sound familiar), which is very confusing to the young crows. Later, in the worksheet portion, Cosmos says, Your teacher spends hours trying to help you understand something. They ask you questions in class and give you answers to those questions, then they give you practice work to take home. And after all that, if you do poorly on the test, it is their fault?
It is important for children to recognize that their Stinky Thinking is foolish and it is much better to be Dr. Nice than Mr. Nasty.
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