Page 37 - Whispering Squirrels

Ultimately, you will want them to recognize their thinking in a situation, evaluate if it is rational or irrational, if irrational, challenge it and choose from alternative interpretations.
Most children are a long way from that, so reward behaviors that indicate a utili-zation of more effective cognitive coping skills. These rewards will be for behav-iors that are successive approximations, that is, they are getting closer and closer to a behavior that would indicate that they are using effective coping skills. A rule of thumb is to reward better and don’t expect best.
Although this is not as scientific or detailed an explanation of shaping, as you will find in behavior modification books, it should prove adequate for these pur-poses. You have to live your life, not just modify coping skills. Therefore, every-thing you do in your normal day to reinforce your children’s coping skills must be as non-intrusive and minimally time consuming as possible. Remember, if it is better than what they normally do, encourage it.
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