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Exercise
The “Tell Me When” exercise is designed to have the children give each other feedback about when they or another behaved like one of the characters in the story and how it causes the other to feel. The children should have gained some understanding about the general concepts, Stinky Thinking, Not OK emotions, Thumbs Down behavior and be able to use them in their discussions.
This is an opportunity for them to see themselves as others see them and to develop some empathy for each other.
“What Do You Say and How Do You Say It” exercise is a basic assertiveness rehearsal. Most children only know two ways to react, submit or fight. Even most adults have this limited repertory but they control the intensity or obviousness
of the response. Assertiveness means to tell someone, in an unambiguous way, exactly what you want them to understand, in a manner not intended to upset, with appropriate non-verbal mannerisms.
Beyond the scope of What Do We Say, is that it is not necessary that the other person agree or accept your assertive response. Since you responded assertively as opposed to passively or aggressively, you need not be concerned if they
react negatively and you should not allow yourself to dwell on the incident. Assertiveness is about unambiguously doing what is in your best self-interest, with no intention of purposefully causing harm to others and then getting on with your life.
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