Page 28 - SB-Too Birds

PARENT NOTES
THE STORY OF TOO BIRDS
TOPIC: Certain beliefs and certain words carry a lot of power. The word Too is such a word. If you believe a task is too hard, you won’t attempt it. If you tell yourself that you are too dumb to learn a subject, your effort at learning it will be halfhearted.
As such, the word Too, as it relates to your Stinky Thinking, is very Limi ing. By self-limiting ourselves, we miss out on much of life. We lack the self-efficacy that is so important in taking on the increasingly difficult tasks in life.
Much of our anxiety and fear about various issues in our lives has its genesis in the word Too. If you tell yourself that you are Too unlovable, then you will not learn the skills necessary to generate and maintain friendships. Why should you bother, since you will be rejected anyway? Then when you don’t have the necessary social skills, your assumption is proven true.
“Study? Why study? Don’t you know that I am Too dumb to do well in this class?” You are giving yourself permission not to try. Any indication that your Too belief is true, such as poor grade (following your not studying) will validate this Too belief.
Although the actual word “Too” may not be in the Stinky Thinking, you know it is there if the belief is unrealistically limiting. “I am not going to try out for the team, it is just a dumb game,” can be camouflage for “I am afraid to try out for the team because I am too clumsy and it would be too awful to be rejected.” It is important to learn to identify Too beliefs, to challenge and to change them because this is one of most difficult and beneficial of the “Coping” tasks.
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