Page 143 - Microsoft Word - SPIRIT AND THE MIND.doc

Sai Love 127
my own personal miracle. What a surprise! I don’t know how he did it, but he quickly wore me down to a frazzle. Like so many people, I came to Baba with a fantasy that he would immediately recognize me, welcome me with open arms, show me the meaning of my life— and along with it perhaps reveal one or two aspects of his divine form. But what one usually finds is something quite different. He made me sit and wait; I became angry and frustrated; I began to think myself crazy for coming all this way, hoping for a glimpse of God. And then all of a sudden—in the moment of my most intense pain— he came to me like the sweetest parent. One of his attributes is perfect “therapeutic” timing.
I related this incident in the book Baba allowed me to write about him. In short, after I became aware that Baba had the capacity to materialize objects, after I had witnessed my miracle, I began to seriously listen to what he had to say. And what he said disturbed me. Baba spoke about the place of discipline and morality in our lives. Coming from a background where permissiveness and doing what one wants is valued, it was upsetting for me to hear Baba say, “It’s not important to do what you want to do, but to learn to like to do what you have to do.” When I heard him tell his students not to get caught up in transient, meaningless fads—long hair, tight pants, sensual and violent movies—I mistook him as being repressive and punitive. I was deeply disturbed by his message of discipline, control, respect and morality.
One evening after hearing Baba speak to his students in this way, I retreated dejected and almost broken. I stood a great distance away from him, many walls and many people separating us. I was in the moment of my greatest pain, attracted by Baba’s immense vitality, love and sheer beauty—yet wanting to retreat. I felt that he challenged the basis upon which my life was built. If I listened to him I would have to change the direction of my life, my relationship with family and friends, and even the way I practiced my profession. I pictured myself being a penniless outcast.
As I stood steeped in this dark cloud of pain I looked up to find the most precious, tender healing light of love I had ever witnessed. Baba came directly to me, smiling tenderly and playfully—capturing me in the radiant burst of sheer bliss, which sparkled in his eyes. I was immediately immersed in his great joy—and happy beyond measure.