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I said, “No, not very often.” That was the extent of the conversation. I was really peaked by the time we arrived.
The board and care facility had a staff of about seven people and we added another five. I was numb during the conference. I guess we all contributed a bit, but I can’t remember much of what went on. Afterwards the head of their program showed us the rooms, introduced us to some of the boarders and walked us around the grounds. As we finished the visit I began feeling uncomfortable— anticipating the ride back. We ended up at the front of the facility— the staff of our program and the head of theirs. I had never met him before and he seemed quite friendly.
Then something unusual happened. This young man, the head of their program, walked up to me with hands clasped before him in the devotional, prayerful posture that one uses to greet another in India. And with a big smile he said, “Is that Swami’s ring you’re wearing?” He pointed to a ring that Baba had materialized for me, and I broke out in a big grin. Can you imagine this turn of events? I was a zero in the eyes of the staff before—and now I was a hero. “Swami’s my guru, too,” he joyfully proclaimed. We both became children, smiling broadly as he told me about his trip to India, how he became deathly ill in north India and was saved by Baba.
That was delightful. You know, whether you’re a hero or a zero doesn’t make any difference. What does, is the faith and forbearance that develop when he graces you with a sweet and loving sign of his omnipresence. Whatever the play—and the play can be tremendously mysterious and trying—we must have faith, perseverance and patience and know that he is with us always. We may make all kinds of mistakes and feel as if we are a zero—but that doesn’t really matter. If we just hold on long enough, and with steady enough faith, he will give us a deeper vision—that is his play. Just wait. He saves only at the last moment.
What matters is holding very strongly to him. Then he takes the responsibility for teaching and for saving. We just have to develop the faith that what happens, no matter how it looks from the outer material world, is really grace and that through it he is teaching the deepest spiritual insights. And these insights are not easy to come by. He teaches that to escape suffering and pain we must yearn for God with the intensity of a baby crying for its mother, as a pitiful, starving beggar cries out for a morsel of food.