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This case clearly illustrates how uplifting values and good behavior are of primary importance. In the treatment, I advised the parents, “There are some people who consider that civilized and elevated values are the most critical consideration in life, and if they are not upheld, grief and agony will result. You might be concerned that you will incur more worry and work by insisting on correct behavior. You might think that your children will rebel, run away, and get into more trouble. However, I believe that there is no excuse for unbridled behavior. No maer what the worry, nothing should interfere with establishing good values. Of course, we must present them fairly, sensitively, and sensibly.”
I further advised the parents, “Let’s bring the children into the treatment to guard against the situation geing worse. Let’s open channels of communication and talk the problem out with them. What is imperative is not to be afraid to uphold the values that are the only safeguard we have against chaos. You are disappointed with your fathering. Well, there is no time like the present to do it right. You know what to do, your conscience tells you so, and when you don’t do it you are in conflict. If you have the courage to do what is right, you will be a hero. Unity in thought, word, and deed makes us into heroes.”
These parents listened and understood, and were inspired to act with sensibility and courage.
We sometimes take it for granted that cases such as this one need a focus on values and that such explanations are self-evident. However, I can assure you that the level of disease in our value system is all-pervasive and is the source of inconceivable suffering.
Be humble, be harmless,
Be upright, and forbearing.
Have no pretense
And be free from the bondage of desire. (SSB)
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