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his children in a state of anger came to the surface. These memories caused severe guilt, which James could not face. He had to wall off this sin. Sadness, fear, self-anger, guilt, and condemnation, all powerfully negative feelings, surfaced.
Such is the nature of conflicts, hidden deep in the psyche and repressed by our psychological defenses. While the mind tries to wall off pain, it takes energy to keep inner torment hidden. The mind, in its wisdom, wants to bring awareness to unconscious conflict so that it can be resolved. Only then can there be lasting unity in thought, word, and deed. The psyche wants to be free of inner pain. This purification can take place only in an atmosphere of trust and love.
Repressed feelings light up when defenses are weakened, such as in the above example. We also become aware of these hidden and painful areas as we strive to become more deeply committed and open with each other. We cannot hide from conflicts and emotions if we are to be open in relationships. If we are to grow in our relationships, we must face the hidden layers of suffering that exist within us. Once aware of conflicts we can release them, thus freeing up energy that, in turn, helps expand our capacity to love.
In an atmosphere of trust and caring, James was able to face his feelings. To resolve his conflicts and accept himself, he had to go through the process of penance (grieving, suffering, and reparation for the act) in order to aain forgiveness of himself for wrong actions against others. With greater awareness, he achieved a new level of inner peace. Instead of hiding and deceiving himself, he achieved an inner truth in which there was unity in thought, word, and deed. His depression lied, and he was able to take the next step, to engage in work now consistent with his conscience (dharma).
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