Page 177 - How To Sell Yourself

176 How to Sell Yourself
adversary can’t. So don’t tell the other side it is wrong. It already
knows that.
A positive beginning
Usually, we start a negotiation with what each side “demands,” wants, or expects. I suggest that each side first sift through the other’s demands, then go immediately to what’s possible.
That seems revolutionary, but it can really cut out a lot of the usual garbage.
Are there any areas of give and take that can serve as the real starting point?
In other words, use the opening moments of a negotiation to sort out the points on the table to find areas of potential agree- ment rather than start with the areas of extreme disagreement.
Some helpful questions to ask:
• What do we want in common?
• What can we achieve that would put each of us in a
somewhat more advantageous position?
• What does each party contribute to the success of the
other?
• What can we compromise?
Questions to avoid:
• What can I con them out of?
• WhatcanIdoorsaytogetanedge?
• What can I do to intimidate them?
• What do they owe me?
• How am I superior and how can I flaunt that?
• Don’t they realize I can exist without them?
• Why isn’t the other side grateful for all I’ve done for them?
What are our options?
Openly examine the consequences if I give you everything you’re asking for. Then turn it around and examine the conse- quences if you give me everything I want.
A lot of problems can be avoided if we understand how ex- treme the extremes really are. Then we can move into what solu- tions might work for both sides if compromise is possible.