Page 16 - Mid Valley Times 1-6-22 E-Edition

Thursday, January 6, 2022 | A16 | Mid Valley TiMes
He
Intensity of Grief Focuses on What We Had
H
ealth &Fitne
ealth &Fitn
ss
ss
By Ro Linscheid
Each of us will
have or have had the painful experience of loosing something
or someone you love. Nobody is exempt from this experience. It is easy to lose our- selves in the depth
of the loss rather
than being grateful for what we enjoyed even for a short time. Many of us have heard “it is all part of the circle of life” but there are all sorts of difficult emotions that can happen as we en- ter the grieving pro- cess. It may feel like the pain and sadness will never end. There is no right or wrong way to grieve but it
is important to find a way to cope with the pain so that in time you can move into a new normal.
Grief is a natural response to loss. It is an intense reaction
of the loss of some- thing or someone who is important to you. There are a number
of situations that can cause one to grieve. Beside loosing a spouse or a significant other the loss of a good friend or loosing your job, the death
of a beloved pet, a miscarriage, a seri- ous illness can be the cause of grief. Subtle losses can lead to grief too. You might expe- rience deep sadness when you move away from home, become more disabled, sell the family home, change jobs, or retire from a career you loved. Any change from the way things you know and love can lead to in- tense feelings of loss.
Grieving is a per- sonal experience. Nobody feels exactly as you do. How you grieve depends on
you personality, your coping style, your life experience, your faith and the nature of your loss. There is no time- table to get through the grieving process. It can’t be forced or hurried. It is impor- tant that you do not try to ignore it. Pre- tending that the loss is not there can make
things worse in the long run. Facing the loss and actively deal- ing with it is difficult but will help you get to an acceptance of the situation.
In 1969 psychiatrist Elisabeth Kubler- Ross established the five stages of grief. She never intended for these stages to
be a rigid framework that applies to ev- eryone. She states” the five stages are responses to loss that many people have, but there is not a typi-
cal response to loss, as there is not typical loss. Our grieving is as individual as our lives.”
The five stages give us a rational place to start to deal with the hurt and the loss; we must remember that the grieving process is an emotional re- sponse.
The first of the five stages is denial. This is the initial shock and disbelief that the loss has truly happened.
If someone you loved has died you may expect them to show up. Or you keep look- ing for them in their special chair.
The second of the
five stages of grief is sadness. A profound sadness is felt by most everyone. There could be feelings of empti- ness, despair or great loneliness also. This sadness could result in feeling emotionally unstable and tears. Many people respond to loss by crying. Cry- ing does not mean you are weak. It is simply a method of releasing deeply felt emotions.
The third stage is guilt. There may come a time when you feel guilty about things you said or maybe something you didn’t say. After a death or a loss of a job you may question if there were things you could have said or done to make a different outcome. The fourth stage is anger. Even if the loss is nobodies fault there can still be feelings of anger and resentment. It feels like an injus- tice has been done to you. The anger can be directed at yourself, God, doctors, family or even at the person who died and left you behind.
The fifth stage is fear. Fear can cause worried anxious feel- ings that can lead to
panic attacks, insecu- rity and feeling help- lessness. It can cause tremendous anxiety about how you will pay the bills, put food on the table or just go about everyday liv- ing. Grief can take on physical symptoms. Fatigue, weight loss or weight gain, aches and pains and insom- nia can all be symp- toms that you are in the fear stage of grief.
Address your grief in deliberate and posi- tive ways. You may want to lean on your friends and family, al- low them to help you. Many times friends and family want to
be helpful but are at
a loss as to how they can do that. Share with your close circle what you are experi- encing or join a sup- port group. A sup- port group for people who are grieving will have people dealing with similar issues to yours and may under- stand better what you are feeling. You can write about the loss
in a journal. Probably the most overlooked helpful person would be your minister. The Chaplain at Sierra View Homes Retire- ment is often sup-
porting residents and staff by listening to their hurt, prayer and bible readings.
At Sierra View Homes we hold a Service of Remem- brance once a quar- ter. At this memorial service we remember the folks we have lost. Family members are invited to share about their loved one. We sing, pray and share memories. The staff is welcome to come and have the opportunity to share. This service gives us the opportu- nity to say good bye and allow time to be in grief together.
It is important to understand that your grief is just that. It is your grief. You must work through the loss and the pain in your own way and in your own time. No one can tell you when it
is time to stop griev- ing or to “just get over it” because we
all deal with these hardships in our own style. Time has a way of making the intense pain less intense. The pain of loss may never go away completely but with time you may be able to estab- lish a new normal and cherish the memories.
He&alth Fitness
Runs the first week of each month
Call Janie Lucio to advertise
Dr. Amu, M.D. Candice Brantley Pediatrician F.N.P.-C
Magdalena Ruiz F.N.P.-C
CALL NOW FOR APPOINTMENT LLAME PARA UNA CITA AHORA
Nicole Gonzalez F.N.P.
Gadiel Escobedo F.N.P.
Aurora Florez F.N.P.
Welcoming New Patients!
Ask about our no hassle Rx transfer.
Presunte por nuestra transferencia de RX
sin molestias.
Se Habla Español
Emad Marcos (Marc)
Owner/Pharmacist in Charge
WE OFFER: Ofrecemos:
FREE DELIVERY
(Orange Cove, Cutler, Orosi, Dinuba and Reedley)
ENTREGA GRATIS
(Orange Cove, Cutler, Orosi, Dinuba and Reedley)
We Accept All Insurances: Medicare & Medical
Acceptamos Todas Sugaros incluynendo: Medicare y Medical
Free Blood Pressure & Sugar Monitoring
Presion Artierial Libre y Control del Azúcar
OPEN: Mon-Fri: 9am - 6pm | Sat: 9am - 2pm
172N.LStreet | DowntownDinuba | 559.725.4525
638-2244
05636
006131