Page 103 - The Light Dragoon 2024

The Regimental Journal of The Light Dragoons
Valete
Edward Elston
2Lt Edward Elston commissioned into the Light Dragoons in August 2016, a challenge he had set himself over a decade earlier at prep school. For a man with questionable personal administration and who is unable to physically squat, it was a surprise to all that he succeeded in this quest.
Little time was spent in Gaza over his most formative years as a troop leader. Assigned to B Sqn under the tutelage of Dan Lenherr, PDT for Op CABRIT began upon arrival. The realities of Ed’s training on SPTA were taken incredibly seriously and frantic requests for ‘intimate fire support’ can still be heard to echo around ‘The Rings’. The little time spent in the Officers’ Mess was conveniently spent horizontally - either with a resting pulse of 1 after kabadi or in a loo cubicle after one loving cup too many. The latter preparing him well for a deployment hidden away in Polish cupboards from his OC.
He returned from Bemowo Piskie as senior troop leader in the British Army’s finely tuned Arctic Warfare Squadron, in time for Ex TRIDENT JUNCTURE in Norway. He used the opportunity to glean all he could on composure and keeping a level- head from his 2IC at the time, Nick Smith. He would take forward these skills of ‘calm and collected’ into Ex ASKARI STORM in early 2019, this time as 2IC himself.
As a 2IC, he led B Sqn ‘The Guards’ well, albeit, from a distance. The requirement for a Hazmat Suit to enter his office meant the riff raff were kept at bay. A quote from his previous OC sums up his time as a 2IC perfectly, “Despite an apparent complete lack of administrative acumen, he was surprisingly effective as a 2IC”. Here, a theme emerged.
We suspect he returned to Sandhurst to finally complete his ‘re-show’ for Senior Term. However, he assures us he returned to be in the services of the Commander Sandhurst Group, as AMA. For a man who had struggled since boarding school to conduct any of his own administration, the thought he would organise another’s, was truly terrifying.
The jury is still out on whether it was his natural aptitude for the job, or his ineptitude, that landed him his next job, similarly, organising someone else’s life. This time as XO for Commander British Forces Mali, Ed was in his element. So dedicated was he in his mission to look after the Commander, that he often forgot
to look after himself. Examples of this were his title as ‘the only man to gain weight after six months in Africa’, and the fact that his singular combat shirt began to rot as he wore it. A true testament to the sweat and hard work he put in.
After this, the desk of Light Dragoons Operations Officer beckoned. A swift deployment on WESSEX STORM tested Ed in the transition from desk work to field soldiering, as a key member of CO’s TAC. So key, that the CO had no qualms in leaving him behind in a live mortar impact area when Ed’s trusty Land Rover broke down. Returning to camp, Ed faced the thankless and routine tasks of Ops
Officer: fending off trawls and taskings whilst simultaneously inserting tobacco pouches into his gum. His final “operation” in the military was his involvement leading the training of Ukrainians in the UK – the highlight of this was meeting Stacey Dooley, which featured heavily in his dating app catfishing (replacing the contentious picture of him with Crown Prince Hussein). At this point, with all the apt credentials for his LinkedIn profile and having achieved all he had aspired to since prep school, Ed decided his time had come to extract. He was finally ready to face the new challenges of the outside world... by becoming an Operations Officer for a risk consultancy company.
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