Page 106 - KRH Regimental Journal 2022

104 The Regimental Journal of The King’s Royal Hussars
Major Thomas W Kirkham
Major Tom Kirkham’s illustrious career in the King’s Royal Hussars began as one-third of the infamous 2012 intake of Tom, Dick, and Harry. From the first bleak Sunday evening in the Bovvy Hilton, Tom made an impression on his com- rades, by watching a ‘Passion for Angling’ and instructing his fellow troop leaders on the important dis- tinctions between a Streamer, a Dry Fly and a Wet Nymph.
A posting to B Sqn in the summer of 2013 meant responsibility for one thing: The Officers’ Mess Ball. Tom’s creativity, passion, and insistence that he was always right was quickly noted by all and his unique style of party planning became a running theme throughout his career at the KRH. As the most junior subaltern Tom drew the short straw of being the duty officer for the evening. Ever the performer, he took advan- tage of his relative sobriety and previous career as a professional drummer to wow the crowd (and certain ladies) with his drum-
ming and tight-fitting crimson trousers.
From the haze of that first summer, Tom and B Sqn joined the KRH Battlegroup for his first of many adventures on the Canadian prairie. It was here that Tom gained a reputation for putting his body on the line for a good cause. A man of his word, Tom’s challenge to B Sqn SSM that he couldn’t raise £100 for a charity of his choice was answered rather more quickly than he may have liked, an amateur haircut on the prairie was the result, much to the amusement of the rest of the Sqn.
With a fresh haircut from here, the only direction was up. A stint in the Regimental Boxing team resulted in a distinguished loss, lots of blood but fortunately no significant injury. Tom hung up his gloves at this point having broken even (the other bout was a semi-official event in Bruges earlier that year). A move from B Sqn to C Sqn led to another trip to the prairie followed by excur- sions to London Ontario, Calgary, and Banff. Sadly, the fair ladies of Canada would have to console themselves with his brother officers as, by this time, Tom was firmly entranced by the long- suffering Emma.
For Emma, dating Tom did have some compensations. Aside from the parties, a brief posting to BATUK in Kenya and accom- panying safaris cemented their love affair with Africa although did little to persuade Emma that the Army was all work and no play. A return from Africa was followed by another (inevitable) 9-month trip to Canada as safety staff, where ironically, while responsible for the safety of others, Tom sustained his most seri- ous injury yet. Sadly (for Tom), the total number of ribs broken by his driver miscalculating rough ground were below the minimum requirement for financial compensation, despite offers from fel- low officers to ‘even him up’ in his hospital bed.
As the Intelligence Officer (IO), Tom reached what many consid- ered his finest hour. As mess secretary he planned and directed the ‘Around the World in 80 Days’ party, an experience which those who lived through it will not soon forget, although (fortu- nately) it will not be soon repeated.
Tom’s time as IO ended and he was selected as Adjutant for the battlegroup’s deployment to Estonia in 2019. Quite apart from administering justice to recalcitrant Mercians, Tom found time to do all the little things which made life in Tapa bearable. His side projects included a battlegroup talent show, ‘Tapa’s Got Talent’ and a fundraising opportunity enabling him to put his body at risk again for a good cause. This time it was an 800-mile cycling trip from Tapa to Tidworth in the teeth of a Baltic winter and with only Capt Adam Kula-Przezwanski for company. Just in time, a slightly emaciated and saddle-sore Adjutant arrived in London for the Officers’ dinner, grateful for a warm feather bed, hot cocoa, and a stiff drink.
On promotion to Major, Tom took the mantle of C Sqn Ldr for the remainder of his time at Regimental duty before attending ICSC(L) at Shrivenham. A subsequent posting to PJHQ proved to a dreary professional experience but finally allowed him to set- tle into married life with Emma, pursue his culinary interests, dry meat, fly fish and train their dog, Schnitzel.
Sadly, Tom leaves us for pastures new and the Tom-Dick-Harry triumvirate dwindles to one (the law of natural selection hope- fully suggesting that the most capable remains...) A loyal stal- wart of the Regiment and with Emma’s family in Marlbourgh it is unlikely that he will venture far, but we shall certainly miss his charm, dedication, and style. We wish Tom, Emma, and Schnitzel the best of luck in the future.
Valetes
Captain Paddy GA
Selfe
‘Some are born great; some achieve greatness; and some have greatness thrust upon them’. Malvolio would’ve thought about the latter when thinking about Paddy’s first assignment upon arriving at Regimental Duty in the summer of 2015. The hotly anticipated start to a man whose family blood runs in the DNA of the Regiment. Upon arrival Paddy was presented with the prestigious job of ‘assistant to the assistant commentator’ for the Regiment’s Tercentenary celebra-
HBB
tions. A post that relied on the underpinning characteristics of a Cavalryman - gregarious flair coupled with a natural charm. Thankfully Paddy embodied these attributes and set about with typical enthusiasm, enjoying the relative freedom of ‘not having to march that day’, whilst instead commencing a potential exit strategy from the Army into local radio by offering wit and prose to the commentator. Thankfully for us all, Paddy will not be replacing Simon Ledger at the side of the Rundle Cup pitch after his military career.
After a long winter in Dorsetshire, learning the technical skills and applications of the Main Battle Tank, Paddy turned up in earnest, ready for the challenge. A summer of opportunities rose for Paddy, a chance to make his mark among the well-gelled mess. The long days enabled countless opportunity for sport and social soldiering. For most of the mess this manifested itself in the age- less game of polo; a sport that has been, and will continue to be, a central pillar to Paddy’s life.