Page 105 - She's One Crazy Lady!

Finding ‘IT’
I call it ‘IT’ for now as, at first, I had no idea what ‘IT’ was.
One day in May 2001 ....
Just another day. I woke up early, relaxed and happy. As I stood in the shower, I set my mind to thinking about all that lay ahead of me. Today, having seen to a list of jobs and spoken to all the staff before the start of the school day then taking the school assembly I would be teaching my lively Year Six class; meet with the secretary in the lunch hour, meet with two sets of parents, run a staff meeting after school, finish a display, mark books, prepare the next day’s work whilst being prepared for anything else that cropped up, which always happened – as well as calling in to see Mum and Dad on the way home. Yes, just another busy day at the office.
As I dried myself, I felt ‘IT’.
‘IT’ being a jagged lump above my left breast. Hmm. I hadn’t noticed that before. Perhaps I’d pulled a muscle – I’d been going to the gym for a few weeks in an effort to restore my ageing body into some kind of a normal 46-year olds’ female body – if there should ever be a thing. I felt ‘It’ again to see if I had imagined it. No, ‘It’, now deemed to be quite a hard lump, was still there. ‘It’ didn’t hurt. Time was getting on. I would be late. I would deal with ‘It’ later – perhaps ‘It’ would be gone by tomorrow?
Days passed. Periodically, I would feel the lump but thought little of it. How many days? I could not remember. I was too busy. Not at any time did it think it to be anything sinister; certainly, the word ‘cancer’ did not come to mind. But then, I told myself I should be sensible and get it checked out. It was so close to my boob, and I wasn’t that naïve. Later that day, in between dozens of tasks, I found the time, and privacy, to phone my GP’s surgery for an appointment, only to be told I couldn’t see the GP I wanted (Dr Lawrence) for a further five weeks. Unable to think that far ahead I thanked the receptionist, saying I would ring back later. I hadn’t said why I wanted an appointment but when she said, “You can always come along in the morning and wait to see a triage nurse or a triage doctor, if you think it is an emergency”. Hmm. That was a possibility. Was it an emergency? I didn’t know. I hadn’t told anyone about ‘It’ so could not ask for advice or anyone’s opinion, so,
“
I felt ‘It’ again
to see if I had
imagined it. No,
‘It’, now deemed
to be quite a hard
lump, was still
there. ‘It’ didn’t
hurt. Time was
getting on. I
would be late.
I would deal
with ‘It’ later
- perhaps ‘It’
would be gone by
tomorrow? ”
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