Page 109 - She's One Crazy Lady!

for it to be cancer – for the word ‘cancer’ had now become a stark “ reality and a real possibility. To me it was a 50:50 situation. I either had
cancer, or I hadn’t. If it were to be cancer, even though I hadn’t got a clue what it might involve, I would cope – somehow; but what of the school? What would it mean – to everyone – if I did have cancer? This was not what the school needed at all.
Months later, whilst attending a ‘Cancer Voices’ Conference, I was introduced to Michele Angelo Petrone, a talented artist, a cancer patient and a facilitator of the course. It was a meeting that was to leave such a lasting impression on my life, not knowing, at the time, how his words would affect me. Through his paintings and poetry, Michele spoke of his cancer journey and, referring to his book, “Touching the Rainbow”, he spoke strongly about how we should all talk about cancer. He said it was a health issue for everyone – family, friends and health professionals alike; that an experience of cancer is more than just a diagnosis and treatment, as it affects ‘everyone’ physically, psychologically and emotionally. He went on to say that the way we deal with cancer experiences varies enormously, as everyone has different coping strategies and whichever strategy is chosen, there are difficulties, misunderstandings and communication barriers. Whichever strategy the individual chooses, their choice and their life, should be respected.
Michele felt that cancer was very much a ‘hidden’ subject and was insufficiently discussed and shared; probably because it is sometimes difficult to find the words to describe feelings in relation to something as big as cancer. He felt that encouragement and support should be offered to patients as, in his experience, cancer was perceived to be fatal, a punishment, infectious and a no-hope situation – all due to the fact that people affected by cancer were not having their voices heard; not having the opportunity to express the emotional impact of their experience... that was in 2002. How things have moved on since! Thankfully!
I couldn’t believe I was talking about cancer – possible cancer. ...more of Michele later!
The weekend was as normal as it could be. I saw Mum and Dad
on the Saturday morning, did their weekly shopping and chatted with them. Marilyn came with me and hid her fears well – we were good actresses! The Friday incident wasn’t mentioned. Mum would never talk about Dad in front of him, although I am sure she was desperate to talk it through, and to share and off-load what she was really feeling and thinking. I knew how she felt. How I wished I could have talked to Mum. It was frustrating. It was hard. On the Sunday I went for a long walk with Dave around Sywell Country Park.
Monday 26th June:
How was I feeling now? Butterflies were flying inside my body. I was used to leaving the house alone for important occasions – this was just one more. I would have been very confident and happy to go on
To me it was a 50:50 situation. I either had cancer, or I hadn’t. If it were to be cancer, even though I hadn’t got a clue what it might involve, I would cope – somehow; but what of the school? ”
109