Page 171 - She's One Crazy Lady!

Back to radiotherapy
Monday 29th April
The Groshong line had been successfully removed, with the area on the chest being stitched.
With 20 sessions of radiotherapy in all I’m not going to bore you with all the details as, I’m glad to say, they went very smoothly. The first session was a little longer than the rest as they had to line me up under the machine and time was given to talk about possible side effects. A parking permit had been given to me so there were very few problems there as the majority of my appointments were in the lunch hour when there were no clinics running. I took myself to all these appointments and made sure I did ‘something’ whilst in the area as a treat, seeing a lot of my niece and my four great nephews who lived in Northampton and always cheered me up.
The ‘zapping’ itself was also very brief so I was in and out quickly. Only once, or twice were there issues with the machinery but I took magazines to read and, as usual, chatted with a lot of people. In that time all my finger nails chose to fall out, a side effect of the Taxotere, but I was still bald, desperate for my hair to return. I was also experiencing a few effects from taking the Tamoxifen tablets – hot flushes and still the waking up at 4.00am. But, having smashed up my furniture I was forced to decorate and order new pieces which was a good project to physically get to grips with. Money and other donations were still coming in to the charity funds from schools, our total rising daily, so I kept myself busy but still felt anxious as to what would happen re. my return to school.
With the twenty sessions finished I felt I’d lost the security net of having medical people around me as my next appointment was not for a further three months. All over! Yet, I can clearly remember, after the last one, sitting in my car before driving home, having said goodbye to everyone, feeling ‘down’ and vulnerable – a sudden feeling of being on your own with little back up and people around you should there be a problem – so much attention and now, nothing. Thank goodness these feelings were temporary. By the time I’d reached home I felt OK. Decorating helped!
It wasn’t until early June that my hair decided to make a return. Mum was so, so pleased one day when I took her hand and asked her to ‘feel’! It came back quite curly, and was salt and peppery, not grey as I feared it might be – much to the annoyance of Sue, who’s hair came back straight – and grey. It took a little while to feel confident enough to go out without something on my head but as it was summer, the short hair was actually lovely and I loved the style. Eventually, though, it was time for my first haircut, generously paid for by my niece who took me to a good salon in Northampton. What a transformation in the space of an hour! I was happy! My ‘Trial’ was over.
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A sudden feeling of being on your own with little back up and people around you should there be a problem. ”
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