Page 68 - Vol.VI#5

Dark as a Dungeon (continued from preceding page)
mace to swallow it down. It had been ten years since she’d brought Bobby home from college,
but her father made it sound like it was just last week. Hope dies hard in the heart of a mountain boy, thought Margie. That was a line from a song somewhere. She passed the bottle back to her father without saying anything at all. If he thought he’d said something wrong, he didn’t show it.
His lawn chair squeaked as he shifted his weight, staring out into the woods at the edge of the yard. Until this passes. Like the person she’d become was just a low pressure front stirring up weather on the horizon. And maybe he was right. Because there were not going to be any grandchildren any- time soon, with Bobby Bogue or anyone else, and she was sure of that.
~
“I don’t know if this go-cart is going to make it all the way to Denver,” Jeremy said when he’d loaded her bags into the trunk of her mint green Beetle in the rental car lot. “What about the plane? You afraid of flying all of a sudden?”
Margie watched her brother, wishing she could put her arms around him. He stood under the sun in his tissue-thin tee shirt with his ropy arms as tanned as belt leather, shaggy blond hair in his eyes. He was almost thirty, and still a kid, and without a father now. “I got a lot to think about, Jeremy. Driving clears the mind, you know?”
It also clears the blood, she thought. Fifteen-hun- dred miles sober, between here and Denver. Three days dry. Highway, highway, and not a drop to drink. On a plane, it would be five hours of booze, and no time to think. Half the flight fearing a fiery death and praying to a God she normally didn’t talk to, and the rest of the time guzzling mini- bottles of California white wine and fingering
an in-flight magazine. All thought and emotion neutralized, like the landscape you were flying over without touching a thing. No, driving was the way to go. Clearing the mind. But she didn’t try to explain any of that to Jeremy.
A smirk played on his face. He wasn’t sure if the 59
driving-clears-the-mind thing was meant to make fun of him, so he turned away to light another smoke with his hand cupped against the wind. “I guess it does,” he said with lips pressed tight on the filter, sucking the ember alive. “Hey, I talked to Bobby Bogue this morning, told him about the wake. He said to give you a kiss for him, but I’ll just let him speak for himself if you don’t mind.”
“Bobby Bogue,” she said.
“You should stop in and see him, since you’re going overland. He’s still on his folks’ place, but they’re long dead now, you know. Country bachelor.”
Margie watched her brother, seeing traces of her father in the lines that made parentheses at the corners of his mouth, in the droop to his eyelids and the hollows of his cheeks. Maybe he wasn’t such a kid anymore. Maybe burying his father had grown him up a little. “You should drive out to Denver yourself and visit some time.”
He snorted, as if it was a great joke. “You say hi to Jazmine for me,” he said as she got be-hind the wheel. “Hope y’all are happy.” She poked around to find the button to lower the window. Now she was the one smirking, but she couldn’t read any- thing in his face with the sun behind him. Until this passes. “I will,” she said, and rolled the win- dow back up, searching for the air-con buttons.
~
All day without another drink, crossing the Ap- palachians on Interstate 75, weaving down through the back slope of Kentucky as the sun sank ahead of her. Sleeping in a Motel 8 with the television on, waking up without a hangover but not feeling particularly good. How many days had she woken up hungover? Rolling into work at six in the evening, already half-sauced, then tinkling out a couple hours’ worth of lounge piano with- out a single head turning in her direction. No one noticing if she was dead or alive or Mozart or drunk off her ass. She played jazzified versions of old bluegrass numbers, liquid and slow, and no
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