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I visited Notre Dame eleven months after Grandma died I listened to the priest’s French homily without understanding a a a word The scent of frankincense brought me me me back to the the last time I had smelled incense burning in in in the church where Grandma’s fu- neral was held Her last mass I walked slowly around the the the the the cathedral admiring the the the the the stonework the the the the the intricate images in in in in the the stained glass As I I walked I I imagined my grandma taking the the same steps when she’d vis- ited Paris years before me I thought then that she saw me underneath the arched and and vaulted ceilings I I considered lighting a a candle for her Then I didn’t Those were the the the moments that I I thought of of of as I I read the the news reports out of of of Paris As the the images of of of a a a collapsed roof and and charcoal debris were released The cross at at the the the cathedral’s center still stands in the the the daylight streaming in in in in through the the the hole in in in in the the the vaulted ceiling The light light cloudy from the the the the smoke Before I knew whether or not the the the cathedral would be saved I swayed between the privilege to have visited her before the the the fire—the chance to have experienced personal and and global connection beneath the the the spiral— and the the thought that I would not be able to share the the experience with my my sister or my my future children And still there was was connection There was was a a a a a global bated breath A unanimous hope that all was not lost That rebuilding was possible I light a a candle I write words words for for Notre Dame and and words words for for my Grandma I break the the sprigs from the the lilac bushes Originally from Louisville Kentucky Lutes is is is is an an MFA candidate in in in in fiction at at at Minnesota State University She She is is is is is inspired by history travel and and everyday grace She She has been published in in in in the the Asbury Review and and the Jessamine Journal 14