Page 30 - FDCC Flyer Winter 2023

FDCC Pillars
2 Get Curious
Curiosity is my favorite tool. Too often we approach problems or conflict – especially in a workplace setting – with a brain full of judgment. We think we know what the other players in the situation are thinking, we think we know their motivations and we think we already have considered the issue from all sides. Really, we are just operating on stories – not facts. The net result is that problems are hard to solve, conflict is hard to resolve, and we find ourselves in unhappy- making workplace situations. If instead, you can take a step back and get curious, you are much more likely to truly understand not only the problem, but also the best solution. You can diffuse or even avoid conflict. And ultimately, you can get more done.
Here’s an example: Bob had a co-worker, Abby. He and Abby were tasked with teaming up on a project. Things were not going well. Bob and Abby left most meetings frustrated with each other and without having made the decisions that needed to be made so the project could go forward. Bob told me that he was sure that the issue was that Abby had been passed over for a promotion that Bob had received. I asked Bob how he knew that was the issue. He admitted that Abby had never said so, but “he just had a feeling.” I challenged Bob to bring his curiosity (and vulnerability) to the situation, and to ask Abby some questions that might allow him to figure out what was really going on. He did and
he discovered that Abby was not bitter about the promotion but was worried that Bob didn’t trust her and was trying to edge her out of the project. By talking about what was really going on, they were able to clear the air and the project was able to move forward.
This situation with Bob and Abby
is not uncommon. Often, we allow our judgment to get in the way of both our work and our happiness.
If instead, you can bring some curiosity, work and happiness come easier.
Challenge
Bring your curiosity
Next time you are feeling defensive or stuck, consider how you
could replace your judgment
with curiosity. Here are a couple questions to get you started:
• What assumptions are you making?
• What questions could you use to replace those assumptions with facts and better understand where the other players in the situation are coming from?
• What questions could you ask to find common ground?
3 Make connections.
The statistics on workplace loneliness are staggering. People everywhere are feeling isolated. This loneliness impacts all
manner of business outcomes
from productivity to safety, to performance, and it impacts individual happiness. If you want to be happier at work, it is important to make sure that you are connected. In a world where we have become geographically disconnected, that could begin with simply reinforcing the connections that you already have. But, if you find that isn’t enough, you might also reach out and make new ones – either within the workplace or outside. Making connections doesn’t mean simply talking to other people. It means showing up and relating to them
on a human level – bringing your whole self and your vulnerability to the conversation.
Challenge
Connect
It’s easy during a crazy work-life to lose genuine connection because we are so focused on doing. But the reality is that is connection is not time consuming. Chances are you are talking to people every day here are a couple of easy questions – beyond the usual “how are you?” to turn those conversations into connection.
• What is new in your world?
• What’s something that’s challenging for you right now?
• What’s something you’re celebrating or excited about right now?
• What’s something you learned recently?
• What’s something that surprised you recently?
Reach out to a few people in your universe today – or make a new connection. Ultimately, feeling happier at work doesn’t require radical change. You can make
a few small tweaks and inject more happiness into every day.
It’s as simple as knowing what makes you tick, using curiosity to understand and resolve problems, and genuinely connecting with the people around you.
Rebecca Morrison is a lawyer turned Happiness Coach and the author of the best-selling book The Happiness Recipe:
A Powerful Guide to Living What Matters. Taking the lessons learned in a two-decade long career in law and finance, She was a plenary speaker at the 2023 Annual Meeting at The Broadmoor Becky works with high- achievers to help them live happier, lead happier, and build happy businesses.
You can learn more at www.untanglehappiness.com.
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