Page 187 - In Pursuit of the Sunbeam.indd

172 In Pursuit of the Sunbeam: A Practical Guide to Transformation from Institution to Household
“While every home is unique in its layout and use of spaces based on the needs of the family, there is usually a public and a private side of the house.”
While every home is unique in its layout and use of spaces based on the needs of the family, there is usually a public and a private side of the house. The manner in which guests are greeted and included in household activities is also fairly consistent; there are rooms that welcome and rooms where guests wouldn’t go without permission. We rely on the physical features of space such as walls and doors to separate the most private areas. The arrangement of rooms and social norms of behavior cue these patterns. Without them, the privacy of the family and their relationships with others would be violated. We see evidence of these traditions in our own homes where rooms for social activities (semi-public areas) are close to entrances, while rooms for privacy are separated from guest areas.
The boy who delivers my newspaper is only 12 years old, yet he already understands the societal expectations of privacy.
When he comes to my door to collect payment, I go to my bedroom to get money from my purse. He knows it is not appropriate to cross the threshold unless invited, so he stays on the porch to await my return.
The boundaries are a bit different for Mrs. Naismith, my neighbor. When she comes to collect for the Cancer Society, she rings the doorbell and I invite her to have a seat on the living room couch while I get the money. Still, she would not think of wandering beyond the living room while I am gone.
When new friends come to my house for dinner, I invite them into the living room. “Can I get you a drink,” I ask, and leave them sitting on the couch while I go into the kitchen to get refreshments.
But when old friends come over, I casually call out, “Come on in, we’re in the kitchen.” I tell them to grab a couple of beers from the fridge, and they offer to help me with the salad.
When my sister Chris comes over while I’m in the bedroom packing for a business trip, she yells hello as she comes in the back door. “I’m packing in the bedroom!” I holler, “I can’t find my green blouse!” I look up and see her come into the bedroom and plop on my bed, telling me about her day as I continue packing. It’s part of our relationship. If the paperboy tried it, we would have a problem on our hands.
The boundaries of privacy are dissolved even further – but not totally – between my spouse and me. He thinks nothing of popping into the bathroom to use the hair dryer while I’m taking a shower.
So, as with yours, the rooms in my house are arranged in a way that helps me to control my privacy.