Page 12 - Harvest Connect Volume 23 Issue 7

From the Wellbeing Team
Mental Health Hygiene Principles By Mark Le Messurier
Senior SA of the Year 2022
Can we guarantee against mental health difficulties in our children? No, we cannot. Some mental health issues arise from the unexpected twists and turns of life, and associated traumas. Others are outside of our control and are heavily influenced by illness, disability, deficits, disorders, loss, conditions and so much more. However, by incorporating these Mental Health Hygiene principles into our lives these behaviours can be learnt and become habitualized by our children. And if by chance, your child experiences a spell of mental health difficulty, this framework can offer protective patterns to aid their recovery.
Isn’t it ironic that much of our children’s mental health hinges on our awareness, understanding and modelling of these basic and healthy principles? So, in no particular order, here is my brief 12-point checklist of mental health hygiene principles. Keep your own checklist in mind and compare! Then be sure to model and coach them to your children.
Point 1 – “A problem shared is a problem halved”
When the going gets tough coach your kids to share their thoughts with family and friends. Family and friends are such a blessing because they love us and want to participate in our lives. They remind us not to take ourselves too seriously or perfectly, not to overthink, and always provide us with a sprinkle of optimism and a sparkle of hope.
Point 2 – Get rid of household drama
Do away with the unnecessary drama that plays out too often, in too many families. Instead, model how we slow down, breathe, and self-regulate our emotions. Do away with overreacting and becoming too picky, too shouty, too controlling, too dominating, too angry, and too frightening because when we do this, we increase the stress hormones circulating in our children’s brains. Consequently, with the constant release of cortisol, brain growth runs the risk of being compromised. The immune system does not wire up as it should, there are increases in the risk of anxiety and depression and our rational thinking and memory is weakened. This is a powerful reminder that we must learn ways to face everyday problems calmly and constructively.
Point 3 – Replace frightened thinking with realistic thinking
Create a THREE STEP ‘Healthy thinking plan’ and live by it. This is a great way to take control of problems and difficult situations. To start, you can write the answers asked by the plan below onto paper or to a screen. Over time the steps will become embed so the idea becomes natural and quick to use.
STEP ONE. Use a catastrophe scale to rate how serious the problem makes a child feel. This helps us to understand the depth of angst they are experiencing.
STEP TWO. Do a risk assessment by working through these questions. Name the feelings you are experiencing?
What is most likely to happen if you give this a try?
What is the worst that can happen?
What plans can we make, in the unlikely event that the worst happens?
STEP THREE. Do it!
The ‘Healthy thinking plan’ replaces frightened thinking with realistic thinking. By consistently using it, children learn that support is always available, emergency plans can be made, and they can lead a full life. The flip side to this is when fears grow into phobias. This is when a person sets
This is an excerpt from Mark’s upcoming book –
Guiding Kids through the Tough Moments:
Techniques to build a space where children can thrive
out to deliberately avoid that fear. For example, a child might have a fear of dogs. But it moves to becoming a phobia when this child becomes so avoidant. They avoid seeing dogs, avoid patting dogs, avoid walking on footpaths in case they see a dog, avoid being out the front of their house in case a dog comes by, and avoid fabulous playgrounds, parks and places worried they might encounter a dog.
Point 4 – Stay active
This can be through organised sport or simply walking and talking with someone most days. Physical activity allows the brain to release endorphins, and these make us feel good.
Point 5 – The gut and brain connection
We are beginning to understand that our brain affects our gut health, and our gut affects brain health. There are now strong links between a balanced diet full of vegetables, protein and nutrients and good mental health.
There is no specific diet proven to relieve depression, although there is mounting evidence that the Mediterranean diet (consisting of whole foods such as fresh vegetables, legumes, whole grains, fish, eggs, healthy fats, especially olive oil) is associated with decreased symptoms and progression of depression. This diet is in strong contrast to the classic Western diet increasingly linked to a heightened risk of depression and obesity. It includes foods such as fast food, too much red meat, high-sugar desserts and drinks, refined carbs, processed foods and elevated levels of fat.
Point 6 – Sleep
7 to 9 hours is about right for adults, but children and teens require 9 to 10 hours each night. When we consistently fall short of the sleep we need, we create what’s called a ‘sleep deficit’. This causes moodiness, saps energy, clouds learning, impairs remembering, reduces motivation, and as for strong decision-making and concentration, these fly out the window! Sleep aids the reorganization of the brain, and it’s the best learning tool we’ll ever receive. Plus, it is free!
Point 7 – Being morally and spiritually connected
Researchers Charney and Southwick identified that those who show better mental health usually have two things in common beings. Firstly, they have a moral compass. They possess a strong sense of ‘right and wrong’, ‘good and evil’, ‘fair and unfair,’ ‘helpful and obstructive,’ ‘selfish and generous’ and
all the shades of grey in between. Is this something you do and coach your children to understand?
Secondly, they lived with religious, spiritual or faith values. In fact, having
a deep religious or spiritual connection is the single, most powerful force that supports people to recover from upsets, emergencies, and disasters. On this, you don’t have to suddenly start going to church because spirituality
is all about belief, such as the goodness of family, the love and connection to friends, loyalty, generosity, honesty, or sincerity. A beautiful extension
of this is when you and the kids discuss, and debate, the BIG questions of life. It’s not the answers that carry the most weight, but the thinking and compassion that is stirred by the searching conversations –
What’s most important in life? What’s the meaning of life? What gives meaning to your life? What makes you happy?
What keeps you going?
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